I have a rule when dating that doesn't leave much room for negotiation. (Well, actually I have many rules, but among them is this one.) The rule is: unless you are engaged or married, never jointly buy anything of value with your partner.
For example, say you and your significant other live with one another. Together, you decide that you would like to buy a new couch. It seems like splitting the cost of the couch half-and-half would be a great idea. Both of you could save money in the present. But what about the future? If you split up, you have to decide who keeps the couch. Does the person who keeps the couch pay the person for their half of the couch? Do you subtract money from the total cost because of wear and tear? Or do you give up and just donate the couch to Goodwill with a, "If I can't have it, no one gets it," mentality. It's dicey.
And even more dicey is getting a pet together. Not only have you invested money in a pet, but you've also invested your time and love. Expect something similar to child custody hearings to result.
I'm not trying to be negative, just realistic. Most relationships do not work out, even if you think you are in love. When you get married, you can buy all you want together, just not before then.
Think of it another way. If you're living with your significant other and you want a new couch, buy the new couch for yourself. That way, you have a couch if you break up or if you stay together. Or let your significant other buy a couch by himself. Then you either have the new couch forever or when you break up, buy your own couch with the money you saved. If neither of you can afford a couch by yourself, maybe you shouldn't be buying a couch anyway.
How can couples split up joint purchases after they split up themselves? Have you ever made a joint purchase with a significant other? How did it work out if you didn't stay together? How do you feel about making purchases with your significant other? Would you ever do it? In what circumstances?
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
I'll just take my half
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Subscribe to this blog
4 comments:
if you are serious enough for that stuff, you are ready to be married!
Yes and most relationships dont work because people aren't ready to enter them or because they enter them with the wrong outlook or even the wrong person.
There's too much confusion...
Don't buy anything together during a non-marriage relationship and get a pre-nup if you do decide to bite the bullet !! Marriage usually ends up in divorce nowadays and everything must be split up equally if you don't get a pre-nup. Marriage is a joke!!!
Because you don't have the same legal protections as married couples in case of a split, it's smart to keep track of who paid what toward every major purchase. The easiest way to keep track of this is to make all major purchases separately, write down who paid for what on the receipt, and toss the receipt in a file. For example, when furnishing your new pad, you may find you're short of some essentials. So you might consider springing for the DVD player while your partner covers the cost of a new vacuum. This way, no one bears the full weight of furnishing the apartment, and you'll avoid arguments over ownership later if things don't work.
To afford bigger-ticket items, such as a living room set or washer and dryer, you may not be able to avoid splitting the cost. In this case, write down how much of the purchase each partner paid -- say you divided the cost 60-40 -- and what will happen to the property in case you two split. For example, who would get first dibs on the item? Or would you sell it with each person pocketing their portion of the proceeds?
You also should keep previous property separate. If you make all the payments for a car or a house, for example, don't add your partner's name to the title. Joint purchases, however, should be made in both names.
Post a Comment