Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books from when you were a kid? The ones where you got to pick what path you wanted to take at the end of a chapter, and the story changed based on your choice? Well, one graduate student at the University of Illinois took that concept and applied it to her own research on relationships.
The student set out to find if different personality attachment styles -- that is, the different ways you relate to others in a relationship -- affect the outcomes of your relationships. She did this by creating a personality test and then a choose your own adventure-type relationship quiz. Readers were presented with different scenarios and asked to choose from two options how they would respond to each one. The relationship progressed based on readers' choices. You can take the quiz here. (Please note, sometimes this site is down, and I had to visit it several times before I was able to take the quiz.)
What the student found is that people who have high levels of anxiety or intimacy avoidance are more likely to cause their relationships to go sour. Newsweek did a story about this, basically explaining that sometimes our own personality traits sabotage our relationships, and the choices we make have a lot to do with a partner's future. To put it bluntly, your own personality may be the reason why your relationships constantly fail. The old adage, "It's not you, it's me," may be more true than you think.
What do you think about this research? How much do you think your personality traits and the choices they cause you to make affect a relationship? If you take the quiz, what did you think of it? Did you find the results to be an accurate depiction of your personality and relationship styles?
Monday, August 27, 2007
Choose your own relationship
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1 comment:
Of course your personality and choices affect the relationship heavily...what else is there to affect it? Your attachment style has to mesh well with someone else's acceptance of that attachment, otherwise they won't want you around. If you're constantly second guessing your relationship, chances are it's not going to last.
The quiz was really interesting. I think it described me well. I am slightly fearful-avoidant. I can't deny a bit of what it said about me. I'm middle of the road anxious and middle of the road avoidant. Also, insecure in the beginning of the relationship and level out towards the end. Seems typical.
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