Recently, I discovered the Web site www.dontdatehimgirl.com through a forward sent by a friend.
If you are unfamiliar with the concept, ex-girlfriends post photos and information about a guy they dated in hopes that other women don't make the same mistakes. If you can't tell by the site's name, most of the information is negative.
I, personally, would question whatever information is posted on the Web site. For one thing, how often is it that an ex-girlfriend sincerely wants to assist a new woman the guy is dating. She may want to hurt him. but I doubt she really cares whether she helps the new girlfriend or not. Also, despite the fact that the Web site is only supposed to contain true information, she may be exaggerating or outright lying. As an online user (or even in person), you are entering a situation where you don't know all the facts. You don't know the full extent of the role he or she played in the demise of that relationship.
And most importantly, you're not the ex. Even if you may share many similarities with the woman, you're not her. He may do the exact same things to you and you may look at them differently. While there are some behaviors set in stone as being wrong, you may have a completely different tolerance.
Would you trust information you were given by an ex? Would you post on such a Web site or give another woman information about your ex?
Monday, August 20, 2007
Advice from an ex not the best
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10 comments:
I wouldn't post on a site like that, but I do have a current concern I'm morally debating on whether I should warn the next girl or not. My ex is knowingly spreading herpes and HPV. He gave his ex-wife this and when she told me he swore he'd been tested and that she got it from cheating. Well I ended up with both, and made him go get blood test and sure enough he had lied, he was pos. for both and couldn't produce a past negative test. Now he is with a new girl and not telling her a thing. I'm not sure what to do.
Tell her girl. What she does with that information is her business, but you should give her the option of deciding for herself whether or not she wants to deal with him or the possibility of being infected.
I think the same concept applies to the website. You have to take all that info with a grain of salt as someone could be lying, but at the same time someone could be sincerely trying to warn you against making a completely unnecessary mistake. At the end of the day, you have to make your own judgment call.
Everyone has a different opinion of how a relationship turned out. What might be an egotistical, arrogant jerk to one person, could be a kitten to another. Finding the right person is like finding the right car. Some people can take junk and make them into something great. So you can't always bank on what an ex has to say especially if things ended badly. But when it comes to STDs, man, anonymous you are in my prayers. If you know the girl, or know someone who knows the girl, maybe that mutual person could try to persuade the girl to at least get tested and let her make up her own mind about the guy.
Wow, starting to re-use past topics, huh? Didn't this already get written about?
Does it matter last anonymous? People are talking about serious stuff here and having a decent, intelligent exchange. Why do you even bother to read the blog if you've got nothing of substance to add? If you knew an old lover had an STD would you warn the next person? Do you actually have a real opinion that's on the task at hand?
You're right, it is serious, but it has already been discussed. Which means maybe it's time to get creative.
It's funny how upset people get on this blog when people point out flaws with the blog or ask for a simple thing like originality. Apparently the bloggers and their readers like people to have opinions but only if it agrees with theirs. That's forward thinking.
And, Just Curious, you never put your opinion on the topic down. Don't you have anything to say?
Oh I'm in that same position right now, whether to tell his new romantic interest something that she might not like to hear (he's got quite a reputation ... already anyway) or just back off and do nothing. His new woman happens to be a friend of mine. We're not that close because it's a recent friendship, but I like her. I'm still friends with him. But he doesn't know how to treat women. He just hits on just about anything wearing a skirt you know.
This new girl got a message from another woman about him, and she's so naive, she asked ME to give her advice about what to do. And Gosh... I want to disappear.
The fact of the matter is that a new girlfriend never wants to hear anything from an old girlfriend, no matter how serious it is. If an old girlfriend tells a new one to watch out because a guy has a history of hitting women, the new girl will probably just believe that it's different with her. However, when it comes to an issue of health, I can't see how you couldn't tell, even if it were an anonymous letter just to say you're worried and wanted to let her know about the situation. She can act from there.
Don't worry about the blog topics, either you post a comment or move on.
be nice, all they are doing is stating the truth, that they need new topics. nothing wrong with pointing that out! :) thanks
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