Behind every good man is a wingman

The situation has been played out in movies, on television and in bars across the country. There's a hot woman hanging out with her not-so-hot friend. There's a man who wants the hot woman. But he's not going to get her unless her friend gets someone, too. Enter Wingman.

The Wingman's sole purpose is to help his friend get the woman he wants. He helps him approach a group of women and break into conversation. He chats up the friends to give his buddy time alone with the woman of his desire. The Wingman is never selfish and should be willing to do whatever it takes to ensure his friend is able to close his deal (whatever deal that may be).

If the Wingman does his job correctly, his friend gets the girl, and her friends never know they've been entertained by a Wingman. No woman wants to know a guy was only talking to her so his friend could get with hers.

Women: Have you ever found out a guy was talking to you as his friend's "wingman?" Or, have you ever been the object of desire and found out a wingman was working his magic on your girls? How does that make you feel about the guy and his wingman?

Men: Have you ever acted as a wingman? What are some characteristics of a good wingman? If you're a wingman once, are you doomed to be a wingman forever?

Men and women: Can women be wingmen, too? Are women as effective as wingmen as guys are?

You worship here, I worship there

Here's a line you hear everyday in the club: What church do you go to and how often?

Well, maybe not.

The other day, I was watching an episode of My Wife and Kids where the oldest daughter dates a Bible-thumping teenager. She, of course, is a beautiful, hormonally-charged female. He is always in conflict between his lust and his religious upbringing, often acting as if a kiss is the most sinful thing.

While these two are portraying teenagers, they are also bringing up an issue that can affect adult relationships. Religion can have a great impact on your relationship. When the person attends church services on a nightly basis and serves on several deacon boards and you haven't stepped inside a church since you were christened, it may prove problematic. Or if you have answered a calling to become a minister and your significant other is an atheist, that could also go awry.

However, I have also seen couples of different religions and denominations have happy, fulfilling relationships through a lot of understanding. I've even witnessed people have children and opt to expose the children to both sides.
Do you believe the type or degree of religion automatically affects a relationship? Is someone being of the same religion a factor when you select a mate?

Missed connections

A smile is exchanged between strangers as they drive past each other on the interstate. A mystery man buys a drink for a pretty lady in a bar and disappears. Two joggers warm up together in a park then go their separate ways.

For most people, a seemingly insignificant smile, impromptu wink or hearty laugh are just little pleasantries between strangers, nothing more, nothing less. But for others, they are missed opportunities to get to know someone better. They are missed connections.

Two summers ago, my roommate at the time introduced me to an addicting aspect of Craig's List, a Web site for posting online classified ads. Alongside the ads for cars for sale and fliers for lost puppies are "missed connections" -- posts from people who met someone meaningful and lost him or her.

From Macon's Craig's list (although Atlanta's is much more popular and has more postings):

I saw you at the Walthall Oil station today on Forsyth Road. You are a tall blonde, filling your Big Gulp and paid just behind me. You were driving a silver Ford Tarus I believe with Monroe County plates. I find you most attractive and would like to talk more.

Missed connections like the one above happen every day to thousands, if not millions, of people. These listings become addicting because they offer a glimmer of hope that two people who missed each other could someday be reunited. They play into our hopes, dreams and visions of romance. Plus, it sure would be a great story to tell the grandkids.

Have you ever had a missed connection with someone? Do you regret not getting to know someone better? Did you do anything to seek that person out? If you found out someone was searching for you, would you contact the person?

Getting through an ex's "I Do"....

This weekend, my ex-boyfriend is getting married. This is a first for me.

To add a little context to the situation, this was my first love and we were together for five years.

Since we have mutual friends, I've received multiple phone calls inquiring about my well-being, making sure that I'm not sitting up listening to sad music and crying. I've even been asked whether I was getting suicidal thoughts.

Or there are the friends that I have who insist that I keep myself busy this weekend so I won't think about it.

The funny thing is, while I have acknowledged it, I haven't really felt any particular way about it. I haven't had any tears or any emotional outbursts.

Maybe, by Saturday, I'll know how I really feel about it.

How did you deal with the fact that an ex was getting married? Was it even a major deal to you? What factors play a role in how it impacts you?

Choose your own relationship

Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books from when you were a kid? The ones where you got to pick what path you wanted to take at the end of a chapter, and the story changed based on your choice? Well, one graduate student at the University of Illinois took that concept and applied it to her own research on relationships.

The student set out to find if different personality attachment styles -- that is, the different ways you relate to others in a relationship -- affect the outcomes of your relationships. She did this by creating a personality test and then a choose your own adventure-type relationship quiz. Readers were presented with different scenarios and asked to choose from two options how they would respond to each one. The relationship progressed based on readers' choices. You can take the quiz here. (Please note, sometimes this site is down, and I had to visit it several times before I was able to take the quiz.)

What the student found is that people who have high levels of anxiety or intimacy avoidance are more likely to cause their relationships to go sour. Newsweek did a story about this, basically explaining that sometimes our own personality traits sabotage our relationships, and the choices we make have a lot to do with a partner's future. To put it bluntly, your own personality may be the reason why your relationships constantly fail. The old adage, "It's not you, it's me," may be more true than you think.

What do you think about this research? How much do you think your personality traits and the choices they cause you to make affect a relationship? If you take the quiz, what did you think of it? Did you find the results to be an accurate depiction of your personality and relationship styles?

A publicly displayed lack of affection

The story of Juanita Bynum and her estranged husband Bishop Thomas Weeks has raised more than a few eyebrows over the past couple of days. Bynum is a woman known for preaching self-empowerment to women who have found themselves in bad relationships. However, this week, she is a victim of domestic violence as Weeks struck while in a hotel parking lot after dinner no less.

Then, yesterday, while I was driving home during rush hour along Watson Boulevard in Warner Robins, I saw a couple entangled in a love quarrel. It got so heated, the woman in the argument decided to walk across the street (mind you, not watching where she was going) and the man followed her. Once they reached the other side, they continued their spat which included yelling, pushing and shoving. The light was green, yet everyone, including myself, was gawking at the duo go at it.

What ever happened to discretion in these situations? If the problems veer onto a physical course, by all means, get law authorities and others involved. However, most situations, I think, can be worked out behind closed doors, whether it's just you and your significant other or a relationship therapist.

What do you think when you see a public spat between lovers? Have you ever engaged in one? Also, what are some ways to avoid a public spat when your significant other has upset you while out and about?

Frisky at 50 (and beyond)

A study of sex and the 57 to 85 age group has proved that older people still get it on, according to an Associated Press article in today's Telegraph.

Here it is straight from the source:

Sex and interest in it do fall off when people are in their 70s, but more than a quarter of those up to age 85 reported having sex in the previous year.

In addition:

More than half of those aged 57 to 75 said they gave or received oral sex, as did about a third of 75- to 85-year olds.

And the reasons most seniors don't have sex? It has nothing to do with will, but more often health or lack of a partner (oddly enough, the same reasons why most young people don't have sex either).

Sure, we might not want to think about our parents and grandparents having sex, but to me, this study's results aren't really surprising. We are talking about the generation that grew up believing in free love, after all. Plus, with all the ads for Viagra and other sexual stimulants on TV, it makes it harder to believe that older people are not having sex rather than are.

Are you surprised by the study's results? Do you think you'll stop having sex when you get older? Should there be a cut-off on when people should stop having sex? What would that be? 60? 70? 80? Why is it taboo to think about older people having sex? Is sex something that should be left to young?

I'm coming out!!

A little more than 10 years ago, a Time magazine cover with Ellen DeGeneres on the cover proclaimed "Yep, I'm Gay". In August 2004, a New Jersey governor by the name of James McGreevey announced to the world, with his wife at his side, that he was indeed gay.

Years have passed for both of these public figures and they both appear to have moved on with their lives (Ellen with a top-rated talk show and McGreevey with a boyfriend and attending seminary school). Yet and still, everyday people who are not in the public eye have to wrestle with how to disclose to family and friends that they're a homosexual. They also have to grapple with the ramifications of providing such information.

In my personal experience, I've only had one close friend come out of the closet, so to speak. We attended middle and high school together and I did wonder at times, but I never pressed him about it. Then, during our college years, he began dating someone and spoke so highly of the person. He was in love. Now I'm not the most tactful person in the world, so I finally asked him this question: Are you talking about a he or a she? Of course, he told me it was a he. He also proceeded to tell me that I was one out of a small handful outside of his gay friends who was aware of his status. His mother didn't know and doesn't know to this day. Why? Because, he said, he is unsure of how she would react to such news and he wouldn't want to break her heart. From there, the conversation evolved into your basic relationship discussion about his mate.

While I was supportive of my friend, I've also known people who disowned friends or family members for stating their sexual orientation whether it was because of culture, personal beliefs or a fear of association.

Are you gay or a lesbian or are you close to someone who fits in these categories? If you are a homosexual, how did you tell those close to you of your orientation? If you're close to someone who is, how did they tell you? What was the reaction?

'The Other Woman'

I just finished reading an appropriately titled book by Jane Green about a woman who married a man who had someone else in his life. But the other woman wasn't his mistress. She was his mother.

To the wife, the mother was a thorn in her side. Nothing she could do seemed good enough for the mother. To make matters worse, the wife felt her husband never stuck up for her. The couple argued all the time, and they weren't happy together. They didn't have a healthy relationship.

A man's relationship with his mother isn't the only parent-child relationship that can turn a love relationship sour. A Daddy's Girl can be just as bad as a Momma's Boy if she always turns to her father for advice on everything from fixing the car to managing money.

When Daddy's Girls and Momma's Boys first turn to their parents, rather than their partner for advice, it can undermine the other person. It can make them feel unimportant or second-best when it comes to decisions that affect them and their own family.

To what extent do you think being a Daddy's Girl or Mama's Boy puts a strain on a relationship? Have you ever felt that a significant other chose a parent over you? What role should parents play when a couple gets married? What are your own experiences with your SO's parents or your in-laws?

Advice from an ex not the best

Recently, I discovered the Web site www.dontdatehimgirl.com through a forward sent by a friend.

If you are unfamiliar with the concept, ex-girlfriends post photos and information about a guy they dated in hopes that other women don't make the same mistakes. If you can't tell by the site's name, most of the information is negative.

I, personally, would question whatever information is posted on the Web site. For one thing, how often is it that an ex-girlfriend sincerely wants to assist a new woman the guy is dating. She may want to hurt him. but I doubt she really cares whether she helps the new girlfriend or not. Also, despite the fact that the Web site is only supposed to contain true information, she may be exaggerating or outright lying. As an online user (or even in person), you are entering a situation where you don't know all the facts. You don't know the full extent of the role he or she played in the demise of that relationship.

And most importantly, you're not the ex. Even if you may share many similarities with the woman, you're not her. He may do the exact same things to you and you may look at them differently. While there are some behaviors set in stone as being wrong, you may have a completely different tolerance.

Would you trust information you were given by an ex? Would you post on such a Web site or give another woman information about your ex?

Georgia's not as hot as Texas

If you want a date, go to Austin, Texas.

That's what I've concluded after perusing various lists of the best cities for singles to live. Both Forbes and Sperling's Best Places ranked Austin as the top city to catch a date. Kiplinger ranked Austin third.

So what's Austin have that Macon doesn't? What does it take for a city to be a hot place for singles? Well, to each his own, and even these sources had differing opinions. Kiplinger looked for rental affordability and a high number of restaurants and nightspots. Forbes looked at a city's nightlife, culture, job growth and the ever elusive "coolness" factor. Sperling's took a more mathematical approach and looked at the percentage of singles ages 18-24, population density and dating venues per capita.

The different criteria can produce different results. Although Forbes ranks Atlanta No. 5 as a top city for singles, Sperling's flips the coin and ranks Atlanta No. 7 on its list of cities with the worst dating scenes.

Taking all this into account, think of what you look for in a dating scene. What kind of criteria would you use to determine hot cities for singles? What cities would you put on your list? How does Macon (or your own city) compare with those cities?

Are you ready for some football?

It's that time of year where guys are creating their fantasy football teams and readying their spot to watch hours upon hours of the intense sporting event known as football.

Luckily for us, this mistress only comes around once a year, but boy does she make her presence known, taking up whole weekends and a large portion of your guy's attention. This can get somewhat annoying if you're not into sports.

My friend's boyfriend is one of the biggest sports fanatics I've ever met, so she has offered up some tips. Here are some of the finer points:

1) Don't call during the game, especially when his favorite team is playing.

2) Don't tell him his favorite team sucks no matter what the truth is.

3) Don't make fun of the fact that a favorite player has pending criminal charges.

4) When his team loses, don't call him. Just wait for him to call you.

5) An half-time phone call from him indicates that he is truly in love, even if he hangs up immediately when the game comes back on.

6) Fueling him with food and drinks during the game can only improve your position.

Here are a few that I would like to add:

7) While he's watching the game, it's a perfect time for girls' day out or things that he doesn't enjoy. Do something that you want to do.

8) If he takes you to a game, you may want to ask any questions before or after the game. Asking them during the game can become irritating.

9) NEVER root for the rival team of his favorite team in front of him, especially if his team is losing.

10) Finally, this only lasts for a few months out of the year, so sit back and let him enjoy!

How do you cope with the onset of football season?

Dating discouragements

Dating is full of disappointments and discouragements.

There's that guy who told you he loved you then cheated. There's that woman who stomped on your favorite poster as well as your self-esteem. And don't forget about the ex who stole all the money in your wallet -- and your bank account.

After so many burns and heartache, sometimes it seems easier just to give up on dating altogether.

Consider this man's opinion, which was e-mailed to us over the weekend:

A man these days really has to watch his step. Women say in a relationship that doesn't work out [the way they think it should] ... the man was too forward or not forward enough. They say he was too controlling or not into the relationship enough. I'm a divorced guy that goes to work in the mornings and comes directly home after work trying to live without some woman correcting me on what they think that I'm doing wrong in my life. I spend time working on my lawn and try to keep little projects going like the one I'm on now refinishing a table. I really miss having someone to relate to but at 46 years old I'm wondering if I should try anymore.

To this man: Keep trying. You'll get there. The other day at lunch, one of my friends said he considers all women to be crazy and then judges them from there. It's not just you.

Bloggers: What bothers you the most about the opposite sex and dating? What discourages you from jumping back in the dating pool after a tough relationship? Do you have any advice for this man who seems to always be stuck between a rock and a hard place?

Is that gift a little too much?

When you first dating, flowers and other small trinkets are considered customary. They are considered a small token of one's affection.

However, I have witnessed friends get far more extravagant gifts when you they first started dating. In one instance, a friend received a diamond bracelet by the third date. In another instance, a guy purchased a friend furniture within the first month of dating. One other friend got a trip to the Caribbean. And, to throw in some equal opportunity, I've known a guy who received a car from a woman he dated for two months.

I'll admit those gifts are nice, but I don't think they are warranted in those first few months of dating. One of the best parts of dating is progressing with your emotions and symbols of those emotions. If a person purchases you a diamond bracelet by your third date, where does he go from there? Also, I wouldn't view the gift as having the same sincerity as if it was given to me somewhere down the line where the guy actually knew me. From observing my friends, the guys didn't stick around for more than a year, and yes, most of them took the gifts with them.

Is there a time when you are first dating where you think it is o.k. to accept such gifts? What would you think of someone who gave you such gifts early on?

Who do you choose: Friend or SO?

No one likes to choose between friends and a significant other. Although most people try to avoid this situation at all costs, if you're with someone long enough, it's bound to happen.

Take this example, which happened to one of my friends last year. Both one of her friends and a guy she was dating shared the same time they were to celebrate their birthdays. The two had separate parties planned in separate cities, so the option of going to both or combining parties was not available. For my friend, the answer was a no brainer: celebrate with the friend at her party and then with the guy later. She also hadn't been seeing the guy very long, so that probably eased her decision making process.

I always have been big on compromise. I hate letting anyone down, so I try to look at a way to please everyone at one time. Can I split my time equally between the friends and significant other? Can the significant other hang out with my friends and then the two of us do something special together later? Unfortunately, sometimes in trying to please everyone, you please no one, and everyone ends up mad or hurt instead of happy.

Have you ever been forced to choose between a friend and a significant other? What did you do? How would you feel if your significant other chose a friend over you? How would you feel if your friend chose a significant other over you? Does it matter how long a couple has been dating when it comes to choosing between friends and a SO? Is it always one way or the other?

Flowers ... or something else

Rose and Raven are out, so guest blogger Liza is filling in today.

From the time we're little girls, we're taught that when a boy likes a girl, he gives her flowers.

Later - in many guys' minds - that translates to just about any occasion. It's an anniversary - get her flowers. Valentine's Day - code for flower day. When the guy screws up - flowers should do the trick. But are flowers always a guy's best choice? I say no.

This week, a guy I'm dating wanted to show me he cared. So his plan apparently had been to send me flowers. But then he threw convention out the window. He knew I'd had a tough, busy weekend, and by Sunday night wasn't feeling great. He also knew I planned to do yardwork - in the 100 degree heat - for a few hours after work Monday. I told him my grass and weeds could no longer be ignored.

The next day, he surpised me by driving 45 minutes to spend a few hours mowing my yard, pulling weeds, blowing the driveway, etc. He called and told me to rest, relax and take time for myself after work. I did - and I thought of him. And for the last few days, each time I walk in my yard I smile a little. Just like I would with flowers.

He said he'd decided to take care of my yard instead of sending flowers that day, and that he hoped he'd made the right choice. I assured him he did - this time anyway!

So am I alone? Can gestures like this be better than flowers? Or am I just too practical for my own good?

By Liza

Take me away

By 5 a.m. Friday morning I will be in a car on the road to Charleston. For those of you unfamiliar with journalist's hours, this is very early for me.

But I'm excited because it's the start of a whirlwind weekend in which my boyfriend and I visit three cities in three days: Charleston, S.C., Myrtle Beach, S.C., and Wilmington, N.C. Although we have been on long weekends before, we usually met up with friends while we traveled. When we went to Savannah for St. Patrick's Day, we stayed with another couple. But not this time. It's all on us.

The first big trip can be a trying time for a couple. It's a time when the pair are around each other 24 hours a day, with no work or other scheduling conflicts in between. There are going to be things he wants to do that she doesn't and vice versa. The two will learn even more about each other and their habits as well. The key to a trip is compromise, and if all goes well, the couple will come out stronger than they went in.

What do you think? Can a trip make or break a relationship? Is there anything you've learned on trips with your sweetie? What was your first big trip like?

No means no

Sometimes men (and women) can get a little too sexually aggressive.

I once had a man ask me no fewer than three times if he could "take off my pants," to which the answers were, "No," "NO" and "NO!" Apparently, his mama never taught him that when a lady says, "No," she means, "No," and not "maybe" or "possibly" or "ask me again later." This ignorant fool was promptly shown the door, and I never heard from him again (surprise).

Although some aggressors may keep asking you like they're hoping you'll change your mind, other aggressors may say they understand and respect your wishes, but keep attempting to do what you requested them not to. These people should be viewed with extreme caution, too.

A blogger recently told me in an e-mail about a man who she said pushed the limit and didn't listen. She wants to know if this is typical of men and if it is OK.

My answer is: no, it's not typical, and no, it's not OK. And that goes for men and women. Even if it doesn't lead to rape, which in this case, thankfully, it didn't, it is never OK to push the limits once someone says "no."

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to draw the line and someone had a hard time listening? Do you think it's typical of men or women to not take "no" for an answer the first time? What do you think about people who you have to remind that you said "no," but they eventually comply? Does that make them potential sexual predators or just slow learners?

In lust, in like, in love, insane

When it comes to attraction, most people do it in degrees.

When you're "in lust," it's simple. You and the person share a highly physical attraction to each other. Sometimes there's a connection on another level and sometimes there's not and that's ok. You both turn each other on and enjoy each other physically.

Then there's "in like" which goes beyond just the physical. This is where you and the person appreciate each other for everything from personality to intelligence. You can carry on a conversation. You enjoy each other's company and enjoy many of the same things. There may be a physical aspect of it, but you enjoy your time outside the bedroom as well.

Now there's "in love." The great part about this is the chemistry and that certain something that singles the person out and vice versa. You can't put a name to it, but you're able to combine the lust and love and it's an enjoyable experience.

Now we get to my personal favorite, insane. Insane usually incorporates obsession and desperation. This is usually the person who literally swears they're in love with a person after a date or even a hello. The person runs around trying to learn every little aspect about the person. They may even think they're in a relationship with the person. The problem is the other person either has no clue or stated no interest in having a relationship with the person.

Now, I'm not an expert, but this is the way I view it.

What has been your experiences with the various degrees of love listed here? Have you ever been in a situation where you were confused and how did you deal with it? Do you have your own system for categorizing attraction?

You left me for that?!!!!

This one is especially for the women. On an everyday basis, we compare ourselves to other females, whether we're working, shopping or even watching television.

So after a relationship falls apart, it's only logical that if we are aware of your next girlfriend, we are going to compare and often, for some reason, we feel she doesn't measure up.

After taking a survey of a few females I know, while we think a guy can never replace us or do better than us, we still would prefer to see a Beyonce than a girl who looks like Flavor Flav's twin sister. We would rather see Eva Longoria than Carlos Mencia in a dress. We would rather see Angelina Jolie than Rosie O'Donnell.

But no. A guy will leave an educated woman for a ditz. A guy will leave a young attractive woman for an old hag. I even have one friend whose guy left her for a little person who he quickly impregnated and married. And let's not even begin on men who leave women for men and save that for another day.

Now, making these comparisons can be dangerous, especially if you're single. Why? Because despite everything you may feel the new girlfriend is lacking, she still has a boyfriend. And there also may come the realization that in the guy's mind, the woman is better than you or you would still be together.

And the funny thing is, this doesn't necessarily change with age. The evidence is the women who return from their 20-year high school reunion calling their friends discussing their high school boyfriend's wife.

Have you ever found yourself comparing yourself to the next girlfriend? Did you feel that they measured up?

Marriage is no joke

An anonymous blogger recently left a comment on the blog stating, "Marriage is a joke!!!"

I would like to disagree. Marriage is only a joke if you make it one.

I, personally, take marriage very seriously. I only plan on marrying once and will do everything in my power to make sure that my partner and I are ready for marriage and right for each other when we do. It's not that I don't believe in divorce. I just don't think that people should use it as Plan B.

I will never marry someone I haven't been dating for a couple years. If we're really in love, we can wait. I will insist on pre-marital counseling and discuss every possible topic under the sun before saying the all-important, "I Do."

Unfortunately, too many people do take marriage as a joke. Look no further than television shows like MTV's "Engaged and Underage" where young people rush into marriage when neither of them can support themselves, much less a family. Or look at the very misguided "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" that proved gold diggers are very real and do exist. Britney Spears, who I know is a far from perfect role model, is divorced and had a marriage annulled because she and her hometown best friend got drunk in Vegas and at the time, getting hitched seemed like fun. Playing slots is fun. Marriage is much more serious.

Marriage is not a joke, just some people treat it like it is one.

Do you believe marriage is a joke? Why or why not? Why do you think more people than before now are treating marriage as if it were disposable? Is there anything that can be done?

So you haven't done it yet?

Recently, a columnist for the Chicago Tribune received a letter from a male virgin. He was inquiring whether a guy is ever too old to be a virgin. Several people wrote back either critiquing or supporting his choice. Oddly enough, I was watching an MTV show last week where men in their 20s was practicing celibacy (or at least attempting to). I Googled to learn what the show was and what do you know- they are holding auditions in the spring for a show where they take adult virgins on a journey to lose their virginity.

It kind of makes you wonder if they are going to do a show where they support a girl losing her virginity. Probably not.

But honestly, when it comes to the double standards, men are stereotypically expected to engage in sexual activity earlier and more frequently than women. And we all know what women who measure up to men in sexual activity are called.

Therefore, I know, for me, when I hear a man within my age group say that he's never had sex with anyone, I'm a bit shocked at first. After much cultural conditioning, I, like many of my friends, expect that to be gone by the time a guy has a bachelor's degree.

Along with the initial shock, I also wonder what it's like for him when it comes to relationships. From experience and observation, I know plenty of men who would like to think that they are the only person their girlfriend has been intimate with. Knowing anymore could lead to insecurity. I could only imagine how it could possibly be with a guy who hasn't had one partner.

I will admit that I admire the guys who have chosen to remain virgins into their 20s, 30s and even into their 40s. It takes a lot of self control.

Do you think a guy is ever too old to be a virgin, why or why not? Would you have a problem dating a male virgin? Have you ever been in an adult relationship with a guy who was still a virgin and how did it work for you? And from the men who are virgins who are reading this, why the wait?

I'll just take my half

I have a rule when dating that doesn't leave much room for negotiation. (Well, actually I have many rules, but among them is this one.) The rule is: unless you are engaged or married, never jointly buy anything of value with your partner.

For example, say you and your significant other live with one another. Together, you decide that you would like to buy a new couch. It seems like splitting the cost of the couch half-and-half would be a great idea. Both of you could save money in the present. But what about the future? If you split up, you have to decide who keeps the couch. Does the person who keeps the couch pay the person for their half of the couch? Do you subtract money from the total cost because of wear and tear? Or do you give up and just donate the couch to Goodwill with a, "If I can't have it, no one gets it," mentality. It's dicey.

And even more dicey is getting a pet together. Not only have you invested money in a pet, but you've also invested your time and love. Expect something similar to child custody hearings to result.

I'm not trying to be negative, just realistic. Most relationships do not work out, even if you think you are in love. When you get married, you can buy all you want together, just not before then.

Think of it another way. If you're living with your significant other and you want a new couch, buy the new couch for yourself. That way, you have a couch if you break up or if you stay together. Or let your significant other buy a couch by himself. Then you either have the new couch forever or when you break up, buy your own couch with the money you saved. If neither of you can afford a couch by yourself, maybe you shouldn't be buying a couch anyway.

How can couples split up joint purchases after they split up themselves? Have you ever made a joint purchase with a significant other? How did it work out if you didn't stay together? How do you feel about making purchases with your significant other? Would you ever do it? In what circumstances?