How do you know?

A week or so ago some friends and I were having a conversation about how you know you're with the person you should marry. We had polled married and engaged friends, and none of their answers were particularly helpful. Most centered around the phrase, "You just know."

I wonder if some of these well-meaning people are temporarily -- or worse, permanently -- deluded. They make it sound so easy, like they never had one fight in their relationship, and everything is just so right and perfect. I can't blame them though. After being propositioned with a beautiful ring and promises of forever, I'd probably be deluded, too.

Just knowing is great if you happen to be in the position where you do "just know." But if you don't, there at least have to be criteria you can gauge to see if you're on the right track, we figured. What are the guidelines out there for the rest of us? Is this a case of what we don't know can hurt us?

Here are some of the questions we had about the issue:

* If you're with someone for a certain period of time, should you get to a point where you "just know" one way or the other? For example, if you have been with someone for three years, should you "just know" that person is right for you?

* What are some criteria you can use to determine if you are with the right person?

* If you don't "just know" someone is right for you, is that necessarily bad?

What do you think? For those married and engaged readers, how did you know?