Education reporter Julie Hubbard writes over at The Report Card blog about a new phenomenon among young men that I think applies to many of us dating them. It's called getting stuck in "guyland" -- that gray area in between adolescence and adulthood, mainly between ages 16 and 26.
It's an idea brought about by author Michael Kimmel in his book "Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men." The idea interested me, so I googled the topic and found this excerpt from the book.
The gist of the book is this:
Today, many of these young men, poised between adolescence and adulthood, are more likely to feel anxious and uncertain. In college, they party hard but are soft on studying. They slip through the academic cracks, another face in a large lecture hall, getting by with little effort and less commitment. After graduation, they drift aimlessly from one dead-end job to another, spend more time online playing video games and gambling than they do on dates (and probably spend more money too), "hook up" occasionally with a "friend with benefits," go out with their buddies, drink too much, and save too little. After college, they perpetuate that experience and move home or live in group apartments in major cities, with several other guys from their dorm or fraternity. They watch a lot of sports. They have grandiose visions for their futures and not a clue how to get from here to there. When they do try and articulate this amorphous uncertainty, they're likely to paper over it with a simple "it's all good."
I know guys like this, heck, I know some women (gals?) like this. I'm sure you do too. It's partially evidenced in the fact that we all date casually more and marry later in life.
Do you see guys stuck in guyland? Does it make it harder for you to find someone who you want to settle down with? Have you ever been ready for a "grown up" relationship while your guy was not?
Subscribe to this blog
4 comments:
I DEFINITELY know some guys like this! In fact, I think that the age could actually extend all the way into the middle 30's for some guys stuck in guyland.
I always thought that was a description for "losers." You mean to tell me somebody actually wrote a book and profited from this?
I'm a girl in Guyland. And I love it. I would be unhappy in a situation other than this. If I do find a "grown up" relationship, I expect it to include most aspects of my current single life. Everyone's life is different, so those who want to judge this lifestyle, please don't be offended when I judge yours.
hmmm. im still in a dilema whether i want "the one" or "mr. right now."
Post a Comment