Those were the best words of advice I could give a friend who called me this weekend with dating news.
First, she called to tell me that a woman told her the man she was seeing also was seeing her, meaning this man was cheating on this woman with my friend. My friend had no idea, and was (rightfully) more than miffed at the news. It made sense, then, she said, that he didn't want to go out in public much and she didn't meet her friends. Of course, she confronted him, and (predictably) he denied it and denied it again.
On Monday, my friend called me again, to tell me this guy was able to explain himself a bit. There are more details than I care to get into, but basically, he said this other girl was exaggerating her story and it wasn't really true. My friend now is willing to give the guy another chance, although even she admits she should keep her eyes open and to be wary of this guy.
For me, I'm pretty suspicious of this guy now. Something about his story doesn't sit right with me (although I know that as a third party, I don't have all the information). So on my friend's behalf, I'd like to take an informal poll: should she proceed with caution or kick this guy to the curb? What are the chances this guy's a straight-shooter, and this so-called girlfriend's an exaggerator?
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Proceed with caution
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5 comments:
I would tell your friend to get out while she doesn't have much invested. Even if he is being honest about the other woman (and he most likely isn't) I wouldn't want to be involved with someone who introduces that much drama into the relationship so soon. I would get out before I start developing serious feelings about this person.
My gut says she should get out now, before he makes a fool out of her. Right now, he's feeling pretty proud of himself for making her believe his side of the story.
I think she should get out now. Unless the so-called girlfriend is definitely a nut, there has to be some truth to what she is saying. She could be exagerrating, but there would need to be something to exagerrate upon. Plus, that is a lot of drama.
I would get rid of him now. The fact that he doesn't want to go out in public often tells me that there may be other girls involved. I know a guy that used to call the girls he was seeing (who did not know about each other!) and find out who was going to be where and when so that he wouldn't get busted. He also dated girls in different towns so that there was less chance of a girl's friends busting him! If she has already gotten one call, she definitely needs to think twice!
Dating is a very vague term. Some people go on dates with a few people at the same time because it's nothing serious, they're just meeting new people, seeing if there are possibilities...
But I think it's mostly guys that do that .. lol...
Maybe that guy isn't so serious about her OR the other person. Misunderstandings as to what a date is and isn't... is everyday life you know?
If this woman's upset, I guess that the man somehow made her think it was serious (ie they were having sex etc) or if the other woman decided to warn her, then it might be that he's being intimate with that other woman and then OMG!
One is never cautious enough... yes...
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