Communication, particularly telecommunication, is a great tool, isn't it?
In these times of instant messaging, MySpace, Facebook and e-mail, it's a lot easier for old friends and family to find their way back to each other. It just takes a good search engine and the click of the button. And let's not forget cell phones and text
These improvements in technology also make it easier for your ex to weasel back into your life unexpectedly.
Here's a hypothetical situation: You and your ex broke up about two years ago. He moves away to another state. You boo hoo and move on in your own way. Within about six months of the break-up, he calls you and tells you he has gotten someone pregnant and plans to marry her. Why? Because you really needed to know of course. Then he sends you an e-mail before the wedding about how concerned he is about you. Again, because you need to know. He goes on and gets married. You've find yourself someone. Yet, every time life gets to feeling too good, he sends you an e-mail that just totally boggles your mind. And finally, he sends you an e-mail saying he will be in town and you should get together for coffee.
The curious, yet conniving part of you says "I wonder what he really wants and I want him to see how great I'm doing." The wiser, more experienced part says "I don't need to go because no good can come from this."
I say stick with the wiser, more experienced response. But I also know from even more experience that it's easier said than done.
Have you ever been in a situation like this before? What did you do about it? Did you regret your decision later?
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Case of the ex....
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10 comments:
I broke up with an ex, dated a few other guys, then started dating my current BF about a year later. I moved in with the current guy, and about two years after I left my ex, the ex asked me if there was any chance of us ever getting back together. No thanks! The only reason I had kept in touch with him that long is that I had co-signed for a car before we split up and I wanted to be sure he was making the payments.
Needless to say, he is still an ex!
They always want the SAME thing.....a) to hold on for as long as possible to the "what if" scenario and b) hot, sweaty, nasty, what-ever-could've-been, yeah-baby-you've-still-got-it lovin'.
Run far away! The temptation to agree to lunch/coffee can be great, especially if you generally are a nice person who doesn't like to say no, but it would be better for everyone involved if you suddenly become "busy" when the ex is available. The only things that could happen when meeting up is a. you get attached again and have to (again) try to move on or b. the ex truly wants to get back together and he/she gets his hopes up. No good.
Sometimes getting back together can work. Maybe the two of you just needed some space and time to step out-of-the-boxand then you can examine the relationship better. It might be worth it in the end : ))
A guy broke up with me and I was hurt. I got on with my life and dated a little. This guy called me back about a year later and wanted to get together. Of course, I jumped at the opportunity since I had been hurt so bad. After we met up, I realized all he really wanted was to let me know what a great life he was having without me in it. Looking back, he was just making sure I was still hanging on. You know, just making sure the wound hadn't healed. What a jerk!
Some men won't take NO for an answer....you see it quite often where the woman is stalked or even killed because of these thick headed men who couldn't take NO for an answer. If you are smart cut all ties !!!!
PRIME EXAMPLE !!
Judge Orders Man Not to Have Girlfriend
PETERBOROUGH, Ontario — A judge has ruled that a 24-year-old Canadian man is not allowed to have a girlfriend for the next three years.
The ruling came after Steven Cranley pleaded guilty on Tuesday to several charges stemming from an assault on a former girlfriend.
Cranley, who has been diagnosed with a dependent personality disorder, attacked his girlfriend in an argument after their breakup.
He tried to prevent her from phoning the police by cutting her phone cord and punched and kicked her. He finally stabbed himself with a butcher knife when police did arrive, puncturing his aorta.
Doctors say Cranley has difficulty coping with rejection and runs a high risk to re-offend if he becomes involved in another intimate relationship.
Justice Rhys Morgan said Cranley "cannot form a romantic relationship of an intimate nature with a female person.
"That is the only way I can see the protection of the public is in place until you get the counseling you need."
Cranley had already served 146 days in pre-trail custody, which Morgan said was enough jail time in this case.
His lawyer says the no girlfriend order is the first of its kind that he has encountered.
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My daughter finally wised up and left her Loser Ex BF over a year ago, but he keeps trying to get back with her every few months or so. He even had his Mom call her. She won't respond to him, so he calls her terrible names and says awful things about her. Confirms that she made the right choice in leaving him.
Haha, funny example of the Canadian man, Anon.
I broke up with my ex about 3 years ago. He now married with a daughter. Things haven't been going great for them. We have been kicked it about 6 or 7 months but he have yet to say that he leaving that he want to be with me and he hated he let it ended on the terms that it did. I'm thinking that he's in a situation that he just want to be the man again. I only kicked with him to kinda let him think he incontrol.
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