Friday, June 8, 2007

'You have a point.'

In the television show "Still Standing," Judy's parents constantly argue with each other. That is, until her husband, Bill, teaches her dad a trick he calls "Wife Away."

It works like this: Whenever a wife is nagging her husband, instead of arguing with her, he answers: "You have a point." The wife is happy her opinion has been acknowledged, and the husband is happy because he's not arguing with his wife. Imagine the following conversation ...

Wife: I'm told you hundred times, and I'm telling you again: put the toilet seat down after using the bathroom! It's annoying and unsightly!
Husband:You have a point.

Of course, the husband's intentions in this case are less than noble. He doesn't actually think his wife has a point, he's just saying she does, so she'll shut up. Still, this dialogue has a point.

The phrase works because it acknowledges the other person, certainly more than a grunt from the sofa would. The trick is, for it to mean anything, you have to actually listen before you say it. This goes for men and women in any relationship. If you want to avoid bickering over petty things -- or even big things for that matter -- actually start listening to your partner's concerns and make an effort to do something about it. If anything, agree to disagree. At least then you'll have made your point.

What do you think about Wife Away? What are some other ways to stop arguments before they start? What are some of the little things you argue about with your partner during a relationship?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

One of the "little" argurments I have with my sweetie is over her cell phone use. EVERY time it rings she has to answer it. We can be enjoying a nice dinner alone and it'll ring and she "has to answer it". At Easter Dinner she just "had to take a call". That lady just doens't understand the definition of quality time. What she doesn't know is that tonight she's getting dumped over this.

Anonymous said...

Ouch, anon. Just don't tell her you announced it online first!

Anonymous said...

I tell my husband all the time, I wouldn't have to nag if you just did what I asked in the first place! I believe men think women nag or bitch because we enjoy doing so...NOT.

To the Men of this world:

Women do not nag for pleasure.
Women do not nag for fun.
Women do not nag because there is nothing else worthy to talk about.
Women do not nag for lack of a better thing to do.
I could go on and on.

We do not nag, we are trying to 'help' you be a better person.

We want to 'help' you learn to pick up after yourself (because your mama does not live with us). We want to 'help' you make good money choices. We want to 'help' you understand that the lawn/trash/whatever will not disappear or get fixed on its own (and no I will not do EVERYTHING).

I would love for a man to tell his work boss to stop 'nagging' him about that deadline. Would love to see that reaction!

Anonymous said...

Amen, Edge!

Anonymous said...

Men...you can't live "with them" or "without them" ! Hillary for President :))

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, you have a point, Edge.
Hahaha..
No, really. Men must think that we actually enjoy being upset or something. If they did their part we wouldn't complain.