One of my friends has an internship abroad this summer in South America (I'm so jealous!), and the program she's with is providing housing for her. As a result, she'll be sharing a house with two guys, who I can only assume are roughly her age.
While it is great that her program is giving her living arrangements and roommates (aka, instant friends), I can't help but wonder how her boyfriend feels about her co-habitating with two other guys. Truth be told, he's a pretty easy-going guy, so he's probably only moderately bothered this, but I can't imagine anyone would feel untouched by the situation.
In any instance where a man or woman lives with a member of the opposite sex, the same worries will present themselves. How attractive is the roommate? Could they fall for each other? Plus the same jealousies will result. The person on the outside may feel that the two roommates spend too much time together and share too much.
Because of the time roommates spend together, they usually get to know each other on a certain intimate level. They become comfortable around each other and let boundaries down. Sometimes, if the significant other isn't around, temptation from an attractive roommate is too much to bear. Just look at any season of the Real World within the past 10 years if you need proof.
I'm not saying any of this is going to happen to my friend. In her last e-mail to me, she said the hardest part about her trip was missing her boyfriend. I'm just pointing out that a lot of the feelings I described are natural to have. The question is what to do about them.
Some situations, like an internship abroad, can't be controlled, but what if your significant other lives in the same town as you and has a roommate of the opposite sex? Would you have any problems with that? Would you allow it? Have you ever had a roommate of the opposite sex? If so, did it remain platonic or, in the words of Harry, does sex always get in the way?
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Living with a boy who's not your boyfriend
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6 comments:
I lived with several male roommates, and I never had that problem. I get along much better with guys, and the one time I did have a female roommate, it was awful. My boyfriends either didn't care that I lived with other guys, or they knew better than to say anything about it. I am not a cheater, no matter how hot the guy is. If my BF didn't trust me, then that was a problem we needed to resolve.
I personally feel like I'd be a better roommate with guys than girls. Unless previously stated that there was some chemistry, guys living with girls doesn't strike me as any threat.
I tend to be a bit idealistic and naive though, so who knows. I could be very wrong!
I would feel safer and more secure living with guys. Girls can be petty and jealous at times and you can't always trust them. It would be like having a big brother that I never got to experience. I say go for it !
I think the sex thing always comes up. We are sexual beings and our defensives come down. After much time is spent with the opposite sex, we eventually will succumb to the temptations of our nature. The only way to avoid it would be to live there, but don't spend time together socially. I wish it wasn't like this, but it is what it is.
I think it's pretty funny that we're still calling men "boys!" hehe.
Men ARE "boys" who THINK they are grown up !
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