Finding closure

No matter how hard you try to tell yourself you're over somebody, it's not something you can influence. In fact, the more you have to say it, the less likely it is to be true.

You can say you hate the person, you can want to be over the person and you can even remove that person from your life, but it doesn't guarantee that you won't get a pang in your stomach when you see him with another woman.

Honestly, I'm not sure how true closure happens. I have a feeling, though, that it has something to do with being completely happy with your own life (and it doesn't hurt to have found a significant other somewhere along the way either). It's when your own happiness doesn't depend on the unhappiness of the man — or woman — who scorned you.

I've learned that closure sneaks up on you quietly. You don't know it's coming until it's already there. Then, one day you see an ex's picture, and realize you just don't care. You don't care about what's going on in his life, you don't care about who he's seeing. You feel like you could run into him on the street and have a civil conversation without wanting to claw his eyes out (or run and hide).

This is probably no consolation to the hundreds, heck, probably millions, of men and women out there who have found themselves on the wrong end of a break up. But have patience, and stop trying to convince yourself to get over it. Maybe for some time you have to wallow in your anger, sadness and jealousy. After all, it's not called being heart broken for nothing. And in the end, broken hearts, like starfish, will mend themselves. Both take time and are no small miracles of nature.

Have you ever been able to find closure by something you did? How did you do it?