I think as young people we have a tendency to be picky and fickle when it comes to dating. We have a list of deal breakers -- must not smoke, must love dogs, must not be shorter than 6 feet and so on -- and if the person we're dating doesn't quite measure up to all of our high expectations, we drop them.
I think these deal breakers change as we get older. They get broader, and we get less picky. Deal breakers are more like: must treat me right and must be honest, than superficial ideals that people hold when their younger. Also, I think the older you are, the less likely you are to discount someone after a first date. If there just wasn't any chemistry, older (and wiser) people are more likely to give the person another shot and see if chemistry develops.
Obviously a big answer as to why we become less picky and fickle when we get older is that we're growing up. We're realizing that some things we previously thought were important, really aren't in the big scheme of things. A second answer, though, is that as we age and remain single, we begin to feel more desperate. For women at least, a biological clock starts ticking, and we feel pressure to settle down like other people our age.
No one wants to feel left behind.
Do you think singles become desperate as they age? Do your expectations of potential suitors change as you age?
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Desperate with age?
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3 comments:
I don't believe I have become more desperate, but I certainly have dropped my main deal breakers! The guy I (insert name of whatever the hell is going on here) smokes, is short, is significantly older than me, and has many other things I use to rule out!
I definitely classify my change in taste as growing up. Not becoming desperate!
Hmmm...well, for some women, I agree, it's defininetaly the biological clock ticking which makes them reach out and grab onto anything and anyone out there, forget your standards. You could also argue the same thing for women who are in horrible relationships who choose to stay in them for the very same reasons. But for me, I still haven't let my standards down (i know, in my old age, right?)...I got the buff, no necked teddy bear I've always hoped I'd nab!! :-) I think my taste stayed constant throughout, with the obvious exception of a few guys, of course ;-)
No, older women are not "desperate" by any terms.
I've become less picky about appearance. (Hey, we're getting old.) But, after some bad experiences, I am pickier about personality and behavioral traits.
Younger women are just as willing (maybe even more willing) to settle for any ol' guy just to be in a relationship.
What I have learned from age is that, it's better to be alone and content than it is to be in a relationship that doesn't make you happy.
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