Monday, July 21, 2008

Cutting in line

I always had prided myself for not being "that girl."

You know the one. She starts freaking out when one by one her friends start to pair off and get married, even though she's still in her 20s. Nope, that wasn't me. At least not until 1:57 p.m. Tuesday -- the moment I found out my friend, who once declared that she didn't want to get married and may never get married, announced her engagement.

The engagement was surprising for several reasons, but the one that hit home for me was that she was a woman who was not looking for marriage and even perceived herself as probably the last one of the six of us college friends to do so. But now the order is all messed up. She cut in line.

This, of course, doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with the rest of us who got pushed to the back. But for some reason it feels that way. We come to expect certain things in life, and now all of our expectations are thrown out of whack.

Of course I am happy for her and love her to death. And I can't wait to meet the guy she's marrying. But somewhere inside me, the little green monster is brewing. My boyfriend called me out.

"Everybody gets married in their own time," he said. "And time is different for everybody."

That's true of course. But I know I'm not the only 20-something who has felt this way. Do any of you unmarried ladies ever feel pressure to marry because all your friends are tying the knot? How do you fight jealousy? Men: do you ever feel pressure to marry as well? It's got to be hard if you're the only unmarried man in a group of friends, just as if a woman is the only single gal in her group.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a man inching close to 30 with a college degree and no strings holding me down... when the friend that was the party animal/womanizer of our friends got married... yes, its just as tough on us

Definately a wake up call... but ill just keep floating along.. and im not investing in an apartment full of cats yet... so thats something i guess

Anonymous said...

yeah, I pretty much agree with the other guy above. Except I'm slightly over 30 and not close to settling down. Frustrating thing is, in my 20's I wanted a family more than most of my friends, and now I'm just hanging out with them and their kids. the curse of wanting everything to be perfect I guess.