This morning while listening to a radio talk show, a woman wrote in about how, as a woman separated from her husband, she found it difficult to date.
People who called in advised her to get a divorce so she could move on. Many informed her that no man would want her as long as she was someone's wife.
I couldn't imagine being a guy dating a separated woman. I imagine it could be difficult enough dating someone coming out of a divorce, but at least with a divorce, there is some official closure. With a separation, there's no closure and there's always a chance she could go back to her husband. I don't really see most people advising a wife to choose her boyfriend over her husband or the father of her children. And being the new guy, you are competing with history and that can be an interesting battle.
I also understand that these wives need someone to love and adore them too. But hey, if it's over, I think it's better to get a divorce. It's not fair to you or the spouse or even the children who do pick up on such foolishness. If you're really trying to work it out, there should be no dating.
Are there any woman out there who have tried to date while separated from their husbands? What came of it? For the guys out there, have you ever dated a woman who was separated from her husband? Do you think you could ever date a woman who was separated from her husband?
Friday, March 21, 2008
Dating as a separated woman
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7 comments:
I'm interested in a guy who is separated from his wife (in the process of divorce), and just keep telling myself NO, NO, NO!
I can't imagine being on the other side. I'm too guilty of a person.
Becki, I know exactly how you feel. I, too, am interested in a guy who's in the process of a divorce and it's extremely difficult. I tried to tell myself that I wouldn't develop feelings and just keep it casual, but not surprisngly, that didn't work at all. Now I'm in it too deeply and scared of what might happen if he decides to work it out. This is dangerous territory that I don't advise anyone to venture into.
Run don't walk as fast as you can!!!!! Being separated is the same as still being married...no questions asked. It will hurt less in the long run....don't waste your time...you will never get it back!!!!!
Don't fall into the same trap that I did :( I have been dating a separated woman for over a year and we have fallen in love. If I didn't care for her so much I would have bailed out long ago. But my heart won't let me. I am totally convinced that this will lead to a tremendous heartbreak for me but I love her...that says it all. I have to be the dumbest man on earth.
It gets worse. Her husband (who was caught "sleeping" with her friend) has begged to come back to her and swears that he changed and it will never happen again. Well, small world as it is, I happen to know that he is STILL "sleeping" with the other woman so he is lying to her already! She believes his lies and I KNOW she will be crushed if she takes him back and then finds out the truth. Should I tell her?
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In some provinces (here in Canada), you need to be legally separated from your spouse before you can file for divorce - so sometimes just "getting the divorce" has its obstacles. If a separated woman is ready to date and the new man is aware of the situation and accepts the risk, then it is what it is. Love is a risk even when the two people are single.
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