Thursday, March 20, 2008

Keep it or toss it?

Once a relationship ends, do you keep items of sentimental value, or do you toss them?

I'm not necessarily talking about material items that have some monetary value or other use. One of my exes gave me a blender — yes, a blender — and I still have that, along with a piece of jewelry I was given. But when it comes to things like letters, I usually throw them out either a) when the relationship is over or b) when I am over the guy.

As far as I can tell, there are only two reasons why people might keep items of sentimental value from past relationships:

1. The items serve as reminders that at one time they were wanted and loved by somebody else.
2. They are not really over the other person.

Now put another person into the equation. Say you start seeing someone else, and you still have these sentimental items from the previous relationship. This could be problematic if you keep the items because of reason No. 2, and your new beau could get (reasonably) jealous. Your new beau may even get jealous if you keep them because of reason No. 1, but he or she still thinks you have feelings for your ex. So now, do you hide the items from your new beau?

Mixing the past with the present and possibly future is always a tricky scenario. How would you navigate it? Do you keep or toss items of sentimental value?

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