How do you forgive?

Last night, I was watching an episode of "Sex and the City" in which Carrie received a message on her answering machine from her ex, Big. The problem was she was in the throes of passion with her current, Aidan, when the message came through. To make matters worse, they had just gotten back together after Carrie cheated on him with Big.

All that was to say the episode was all about forgiving and forgetting. Aidan was doing things such as not coming over to her place or not being as intimate because he was upset over the message.

As I get older, I realize that when in these situations, it's actually easier to forgive or get out because forgetting is one thing you definitely have no control over. Sometimes when trying to forget, you think about it more.

So that brings us to forgiveness. Some people are equipped to forgive even the worst of wrongdoings while maintaining a relationship. It may come with many nights of silent treatments, withholding of intimacy or even constant reminders the other party did something wrong, but it comes.

Others need an actual break from the person to forgive. This could be anywhere from a few days to even an all-out breakup. Healing for some can only come from time with one's self to meditate and evaluate. And even after all that is said and done, the hurt party may return to the significant other.

When you've been in a relationship where your partner did something that may have betrayed you, how did you handle the phase as you tried to forgive? How long would you say it took?