Thursday, April 24, 2008

Georgia's own star-crossed lovers

There's a new story of star-crossed lovers brewing in Georgia.

State transportation board chairman Ben Evans stepped down from his position last week because of a romantic relationship with his supervisor, board commissioner Gena Abraham. Obviously, dating someone who oversees you is a big no-no is almost all workplaces.

We've touched on the topic of dating in the workplace several times, but I think this story brings a slew of new questions to light regarding romantic and workplace relationships that are either against company policy or may involve a conflict of interest.

Specifically, at what point does a developing relationship become something worth telling about? Is it when the couple meets for coffee and gets to know each other for the first time? Is it after the third date? Is it after they sleep together?

Relationships always have been hard to define because they develop over time. Most people exploring a relationship don't even really know if they're in one until they have the big establishing the relationship talk. You spend time together as friends and then one person may develop romantic feelings. You don't automatically know if the other person likes you back, and there's a lot of awkwardness going on there.

Once you have determined you are in a romantic relationship, and you need to tell your employer (because of aforementioned company policy or conflict of interest), how do you decide whether the relationship is worth continuing, or in Evans' case, worth your job?

Would you be prepared to give up your job for someone that you only recently have become romantic with? That is a tall order.

Such is the complexity of workplace relationships, which is why I say try to avoid them altogether. Your thoughts?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ummm...how exactly are they star-crossed? If you read the article, these are two mature adults making a responsible decision.

I think you have confused star-crossed and it has nothing to do with your post.

Anonymous said...

Star-crossed means opposed by fate or ill-fated. By nature of their jobs, they were meant not to be together, ergo opposed by fate. They had to face great obstacles not to be together, including the loss of their jobs.

You may not agree with my using it, but I certainly know the meaning. Thank you.

BeckiLG said...

I've had to battle this afew times in dealings with coworkers... since, I have sworn off all hanky panky with anyone who is a coworker! In the future, he'll be the one who can quit/transfer/say something...not me!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on being able to look in a dictionary. Should have tried that before putting it in your post. You may know what it means (thanks to Websters!)but it still doesn't make sense in regards to what you are writing about.

And actually, they may have been meant to be together since one of them resigned - it doesn't appear that it was a great obstacle or they had any fight to face. The gentleman just resigned and pursued a relationship. It is not as big of deal as you are trying to make it.

Anonymous said...

i think dating a co-worker is a big no-no. i have been attracted to a few co-workers in my day. there may have been some innocent flirtations (ok maybe a little more than innocent) but i would never let it get pass that. its just too complicated & i don't need everyone in my workplace knowing my personal business.