It seems that whenever a woman asks a man to do something, the request automatically comes off as nagging.
I was listening to an out-of-state radio station last week in which the DJs talked with a caller about how she nagged her boyfriend. The couple lived together, and whenever the woman asked her boyfriend to do something, he complained that she was nagging him. Eventually, her nagging led the boyfriend to move out.
It's not like this woman was asking him to do unreasonable things. They were simple tasks, like put your dishes in the dishwasher when you're done with them and pick up after yourself. But whenever a woman asks a man to do something, she automatically is labeled as nagging and taking away the man's personal freedom.
I'm sorry, but I don't think personal freedom extends to leaving the house a mess. A woman should be able to ask a man to do something, and he should do it the first time. If he doesn't do it the first time, he should expect to be asked to do it again. If he did the chore the first time he wouldn't have to put up with all this nagging.
Wait, you may be saying, if these things bother a woman so much, shouldn't she do it herself? The problem with that is if the woman always takes out the trash, always puts up the dishes and always does the laundry, she becomes more of a maid than a girlfriend or wife.
Of course, there is a solution to this. Before living with a significant other -- or any roommate for that matter -- the couple should go over ground rules. The rules should address: What are the expectations for keeping the house straight? What are the chores, and who will do them? When will the chores be done? Agree to the rules and stick to them. Anyone who doesn't stick to the rules should expect to be reminded of them. This goes for men and women.
What are some other ways to deal with a nagging girlfriend or a boyfriend who needs to be nagged? Why do you think women have a reputation for nagging their men? Is nagging sometimes necessary or should it always be avoided?
PS- If anyone's interested in a study about friends with benefits, click here.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Nag, nag, nag
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Subscribe to this blog
8 comments:
It's either nagging or they accuse you of changing them. I had many boyfriends who would use that excuse. "You're trying to change who I am," he would say everytime I brought up something that annoyed me.
Boys never cease to amaze me.
Actually, if it's your boyfriend's house, then he has every personal freedom to do what he pleases with his place....and seeing how he treats that one should be an indication of how he will be if you live together and if you you will have to nag.
Most guys don't mind a simple request. We don't view that as nagging. We're not animals.
What we do mind is this:
Honey, please put your dishes in the sink.
(One minute passes)
Did you put your dishes in the sink?
(30 seconds passes)
Why can't you remember to put your dishes in the sink?
(After two minutes of stewing, she bursts into tears and says:)
You're always doing things like this. Why don't you respect me? Why don't you love me? Why do you hate me? Why can't you listen to me?
Ladies, we hear you. We'll put the dishes away, we promise. We'll even wash them off before we put them in the dish washer. But you can't expect us to hop to it like some kind of servant. We'll take our dish to the kitchen at the next commercial, or when we go to get some ice cream. Reminding us 14 times in 20 minutes just pisses us off and, eventually, drives us away.
Just chill a little bit.
I agree with the second anon. I disrespectful to treat your spouse or partner like a third grader - no matter what their sex is.
correction - i agree with the third anon.
Topic Suggestion =)
I was watching Oprah a couple of weeks ago, and a couple was featured as guests.
The husband in this couple allows his wife to sleep with and "be in love" with another man. They claim that their relationship is "open." She says that she thinks she should be allowed to be in love with whomever, as long as she is honest about it. She says she will always be in love with her husband, and he is the one she wants to plan and build her future with. She says she would also allow him to do the same thing if he found someone who he could "fall in love with"
The woman and her "boyfriend sleep together in the married couple's home. He is invited over for dinner and board games, and then the wife and boyfriend will go to the guest bedroom to have sex.
I think this is a good topic for debate. Exactly how far should we push the limits of freedom in marriage?
Ha! we'll put the dishes in the sink if and when we feel like it.
But -- if your Mama suddenly shows up or your bowling buddies and there are dirty dishes the sink -- it's your wife's fault.
Passive agressive or just another excuse.
"The husband in this couple allows his wife to sleep with and "be in love" with another man."
Hubby has problems -- most likely just a guy who thanks the mailman everyday for just showing up. Low self esteem.
She's a tramp gone wild and he's enabling her.
That's sad. Hopefully he'll get some counseling and she'll get the curb. No one deserves that.
Post a Comment