When you watch those old television shows from the 1950s, it was not uncommon to see a married couple sleeping in separate beds. Eventually, couples began to feel sharing the same bed was the way to go and that became the new norm.
Fast forward to today and now home contractors are saying more and more couples are asking for separate master suites.
However, many couples who decide on this arrangement aren't talking about because of a stigma that separate rooms means there must be a problem in the relationship.
Yet, the couples in the article did it for sleep-related reasons. Some stated snoring while others criticized their partner's sleeping positions. I could even think of a few more that could irk a significant other over time: sleeping with the television or radio on, having a window open or even working different shifts.
I actually know a few couples who live together who don't share a bed every night. One is a much older couple where one person is a neat freak and the other person is a packrat. Another couple is around their mid-20s and their sleeping patterns just don't mesh. (Basically, one person in the couple sleeps so violently that it has managed to inflict bodily injury on occasion.)
Like the couples in the article, they still maintain intimacy and affection. Or, in other words, they're still having sex with each other. And oddly enough, both couples tell me it's easier to read a locked bedroom door than body language in bed when the other person doesn't want to be bothered.
Do you think sharing separate rooms is healthy for a relationship? Do you know someone who does it or have you tried it yourself? How did it work out for you?
Friday, October 5, 2007
Your room or mine?
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3 comments:
It would not be for me, but ... I suppose that if the relationship is healthy otherwise and if nothing is cut out of the relationship due to not sharing a room, there is no problem for each person to have his or her own bedroom. After all, how much do you really get out of relationship at a time when both of you are sleeping?
I had to do that for a while because I'm ill and my partner works on shifts and she didnt want to wake me up when she arrived from work, knowing that I might have had a hard time trying to get asleep! But I didnt like it at all. I missed her body next to mine when I woke up :)
Now we use motorized beds, in the same room, so we have our space but we're sleeping together. It's a lot better.
I like the idea of separate bedrooms. Sometimes you just need alone time.
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