Each time I hear about a young person under the age of 22 getting married, I cringe a little.
When I hear that high school sweethearts marry as early as 18 or that two 20-year-olds not even out of college tie the knot, I can't help but be skeptical. Do they really know, that young, that they have found the person they want to live the rest of their lives with?
Not always, according to an author quoted on msn.com:
“The younger you are when you’re married, the more likely it is to end in divorce,” says Pamela Paul, author of The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony. Forty percent of marriages overall fail. “That number goes up into 50 percent or more for people in their 20s,” she adds.Obviously older people can marry and still have their marriages end in divorce, but the more time you spend prior to marriage figuring out what you want, the lesser the chance you'll divorce who you eventually marry. People in their teens and early 20s (myself included here), need to date several people, live on their own, start a career and find out what they want from life before adding another permanent person into the mix.
That's not to say that young people do not understand the concept of love. Children and teens can love others, even romantically. The difference is that they don't understand the work that goes into sustaining love. If you don't know yourself, you can't expect someone else to know you. This can only be learned with time.
Do you think age matters when two people marry? When is too young to get married? Is anyone of any age capable of sustaining a marriage, or does it take a certain maturity? Do you think young people can be in love, or do you think that's something that happens only when people are older?
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6 comments:
yes! there is a "two young"
i was actually engaged and broke it off because I felt like I was too young to make that sort of commitment. fortunately, my then-fiance was very supportive and we're still together - just not engaged.
we'll hopefully get married when we're both a little more mature. it's amazing what a difference even a year can make!
too*
You are right. I married when just after I turned 18 and after 27 years of marriage to a wonderful woman, sometimes I realize that somethings are missing, things that I would have done had I not married so young. I also know that only the somewhat rare deep love we have for each other has held us together all these years.
I don't regret it, not even close, but it was a close thing at times, and given the choice to go back, perhaps I would wait a few years.
We are constantly changing in a way, life changes us. But the younger we are when we attach ourselves to someone else, supposedly for life, the more likely we change in different directions. That's a big problem.
And yes, it's crucial that one knows who one is before even trying to know someone else in depth!
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