One of my favorite classic songs is "Midnight Train to Georgia." Throughout the song, Gladys Knight is talking her love returning to Georgia after failing to become a star in L.A. How does she deal with the pending separation? She decides to leave with him.
When in love, sometimes you have to make sacrifices and sometimes, that sacrifice is packing up and moving where your significant other resides.
I'm not talking about a move across town. I'm talking about a move to another state or across the country. I've even seen someone move to another continent to be with their significant other.
Sometimes, one person in the relationship must maintain their place of residence for their profession. Other times, it could boil down to economics of travel and who has a greater income. And then there are some cases where one person just gets tired of the distance and decides to move.
How is it decided who will up and move? What factors play a role? If there are people out there who have moved for a mate, is there any resentment or remorse or was it the best decision you ever made? What level should a relationship be at for this type of decision to come into play?
Monday, September 24, 2007
Relocating for love
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10 comments:
When we got married, my spouse had lived most but not all of her life in Macon. Moving would mean leaving her parents and the town she had called home for decades. Since I had the higher paying job and her company would allow her to transfer, it was an easy decision. Still, there are regrets. One is being unable to be of much help to her aging mother. The telephone and E-mail is great but it is no substitute for being there.
don't ever move for someone (especially a guy)! i almost did, and i would have regretted it for the rest of my life. it also almost caused me to drop out of college...not cool either. if you can't tell, i'm a scrooge when it comes to love!
I moved for love, not to the city my fiance was living in, but to another city, to look for a decent job, for me first, and then for him. He needed a bit of encouragement... I decided to be the one to give the big step.
Sometimes you have to make decisions like that, if the relationship's worth it, I'd say go ahead. Life's about making decisions and sticking to them as long as it pays off.
If you don't choose one path you'll have to choose another. What's the point in regretting the things you've done? If things don't turn out the way you expected them too, then move on. Looking back with regret or anger or melancholy is never going to make you happy.
I have moved several times. When I was married, I moved from Macon to Columbus, then to Raleigh, then to Findlay, Ohio, to south Florida and back to Macon. We moved for various reasons, finances and finally, to be closer to family.
I don't recommend moving that much. I'm somewhat of a nomad and don't mind moving and like experiencing new places.
I think you should be in a live-in situation or married before you commit to moving with someone a long distance from home. Because when you move, you lose your support system of friends and family. And it takes a while for you to build that support network again.
I'm scared to move for love. I need a ring for sure first. If you move for a person, it always feels like you're giving something up and no one wants to feel like they are giving up the most or sacrificing the most in the relationship. What happens when both people have careers they've been passionate about before they met? Can they ever end up in the same place without feeling like they gave something up for the other person?
If you think you are giving something up, then there is something wrong in the relationship. Moving to be with your significant other is like gaining something. In my case, I have never been happier than I am right now. It's always a risk when you put yourself out there...but what's really the worst that can happen? It won't work out, but you can live to tell about the experience rather than having opinions about something you are too scared to do.
If you move for them once expect to move, on demand, again.
You're setting expectations so be prepared to always meet those expectations.
I don't believe it's true. If you have a good, healthy relationship, both parties will be willing to move.
I moved to be closer to my significant other and now when we talk about my job relocating me, he said he will come with me.
So, last anonymous, that proves your theory wrong. However, it's really sad to see all these people be so negative about being in a healthy relationship.
A ring?
What's with Americans anr engagement rings? doh
:P
:)
I've done it. My fiance and I started dating and a couple months later he got transferred to another state by his company. We tried the long distance thing for about 6 months, but decided that if we really wanted to make things work, we needed to be in the same area. Since his job paid much better than mine, and had more room for growth, I moved. If my job required me to move, he would do the same now, since my job pays better and I have more room for advancement!
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