While I was catching up on an episode of "My Boys" the other night, I was introduced to a new relationship term: open-ender.
The exact definition of an open-ended relationship is debatable, but basically it has to do with a relationship that never really ended. It's a relationship where two people drifted apart, more because of circumstance than a desired break-up.
In the show, PJ had been with this guy in college until they went their separate ways one summer. The relationship never really ended, but both of them had moved on anyway. Years later, the guy wants to see PJ. She gets excited, and all her feelings from the relationship come rushing back, just like the relationship never ended.
Open-enders can be dangerous because you never know if the other person has moved on. Unfortunately in PJ's case, the object of her desire had moved on and was engaged. He said he had needed to see her because of the relationship's lack of closure. He needed to see if the feelings were still there. For him, they weren't.
On the other hand, two people in an open-ended relationship could rediscover each other years later and realize the flame is still burning.
Have you ever been involved in an open-ended relationship? What were the circumstances? Did you meet with the other person years later to find closure or a fresh romance?
Thursday, September 13, 2007
The end that wasn't
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2 comments:
Open enders are awful. They leave you tired and emotionall worn out. My open ender guy was the cause of all of my break ups for a few years. I just couldn't seem to get him out of my head. Being able to finally say I am over him was one of the best times of my life.
As a military brat, I had a lot of open-enders. Sometimes they were a relief: some perfectly nice I guy I couldn't bear to tell I'd rather be "just friends" and I would just suddenly be separated by, oh, an ocean. Others were heartbreakers - but thanks to MySpace I've found a few I left behind and got the closure I wanted. Most of the time, just finding out they're happy and doing well was all I needed. Of course, there's still the "one that got away," but that's another blog...
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