So many times, you hear about people in relationships disliking their significant other’s family members for one reason or another.
But sometimes, a person is not only lucky enough to like their S.O.’s family members, but fall in love with them as well.
Which means it doubly sucks when you break up.
Not only are you breaking up with the significant other, but at some point you have to break up with their family.
This can be hard depending on the degree of closeness you formed with the family and the length of the relationship. If you were together for only two months, it’s probably a lot easier than if you were together for five years. Also, if you only saw the family members when you were dropping them off, it’s probably easier than if you spent every holiday at their home or ventured out on family trips.
I was once in a long-term relationship and after, we broke up, I kept in contact with the guy’s grandmother for a while because we had grown close. However, I realized after awhile that it was detrimental to her trying to build a relationship with anybody else he dated. And it didn’t help hearing her insult every new girlfriend that came along. It just didn’t seem healthy.
Do you think it is right to maintain contact with an ex’s family? If so, what should be the extent of the contact?
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Breaking up with their family is hard to do
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1 comment:
This is a subject I tackled with my teenagers many years ago. I told them that when they had "boyfriends" or "girlfriends", we would not be treating them like a member of our family. They would not be included in family activities, or our holidays. It has worked wonderfully for us as we have never had a problem when the kids "broke-up". The kids also are able to keep their relationships more casual. Their feelings may change as they get older, but we won't be treating anyone like "family" until they are family.
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