Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Playing games: A necessary evil?

People play a lot of different games when it comes to dating. Some of those include:

* Playing hard to get;
* Always acting the part of the damsel in distress (for women);
* Purposely being a jerk because "women like that" (for men); and
* Waiting a certain amount of time before calling someone because that's what everyone believes is appropriate

Most of the time, playing games is viewed in a negative light. The argument against playing games is that they do nothing to foster open, honest discussion, and if you really like someone, you should just say so. Some games, like acting like the needy damsel in distress and acting like a big tough jerk, are almost sure to back fire when a person's true personality is revealed.

But dating games are so prevalent in our society, that I think some are almost necessary. For example, if you call a date too soon, the other person might think you're desperate. The same goes for unabashedly showing your interest (which would be the opposite of playing hard to get). Or worse, non-game playing could be misconstrued as playing some other twisted game, leading to questions like: Why is he showing that much interest? Is he a stalker? and Why is she calling me before I call her? Does she want to get married and have babies right away? It's amazing the things our over-analytical minds can think up.

So where's the balance? Somewhere between revealing all your feelings up front and sending mixed signals. I don't have the answers as to how you strike the balance. Lord knows, I've been way too aloof and way too needy to ruin some potential relationships myself. But it's something worth aiming toward.

Do you play games while dating? Have you ever dated a game player? Are dating games a necessary evil when courting someone? What would dating be like if no one played games, and everyone was honest with each other?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As a guy, I agree that playing games can be fun and a necessary part of dating. Obviously, if you play it the wrong way, it can easily backfire, and you just lose. I will say though, that I don't think part of the game for guys is acting like a jerk if they're not one. I've never done that b/c I hate guys that are like that. The game to me is mainly about showing just the right interest level.