Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Technology: Helps or hinders intimacy?

In past, during the Dark Ages before cell phones and the Internet, staying connected in a long distance relationship was a little more than challenging. Love letters -- the real kind, sent via the good 'ole U.S. Postal Service -- were the main means of communicating. Expensive long distance phone calls were special privileges, not a right.

Today, communicating long distance is much easier. E-mail, instant messaging, text messaging and cell phone service all help long distance couples stay in touch. Even at thousands of miles away, someone can still be at the tip of your fingers.

But with instant communication comes its own challenges. While we may appear to be in touch on the surface, how intimate are the conversations we're having when we don't cherish the time we have together? Old fashioned letters take time and thought to write. They reveal innermost thoughts much better than a text message with 160-word limit. Even e-mail doesn't compare. Seeing someone's own penmanship can be comforting with the knowledge that they wrote especially for you.

This is not to condemn modern technology. Even short love notes in a text can bring smiles to a day. But I wonder if somehow in bringing us closer together, technology also brings us further apart.

How do you use technology to communicate in your own relationships? Does technology help or hinder intimacy?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"While we may appear to be in touch on the surface, how intimate are the conversations we're having when we don't cherish the time we have together?"

What does this sentence - and really this post - mean???

Anonymous said...

The post is about whether technology brings us closer together or further apart. Just because two people have frequent contact with each other does not mean that they are developing intimacy.

You can have frequent conversations via technology that altogether lack in meaning and intimacy. For example, a couple may frequently check in with each other via text message: What's up?/Not much. How are you?/Fine./Etc. Here we have an example of frequent contact, but little intimacy. Asking such simple questions and receiving such mundane answers does nothing to further develop a relationship.

That's versus longer, more intimate conversations that can be had via letters. In letters, people are usually more reflective about their own thoughts and feelings than they are via electronic media.

Hope that helps :)

Anonymous said...

You're trying to hard to be deep.

Sometimes, those text messages that say "hey" are just as meaningful. It doesn't change the fact that someone is thinking about you. You don't have to be mushy to connect.

And technology has helped, especially for guys who are not into the letter writing thing.

Anonymous said...

P.S. You still didn't explain the sentence above.

It really doesn't make sense.

Just saying.