Just file that under "creepy"

Thanks, Gawker, for this gem:



Jezebel has the transcript.

I'm completely single, I'm very intelligent, I'm great in bed, I make great money. Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch.

Yeah. We'll believe the completely single part.

I hope this is fake for Olga's sake. What's the creepiest voicemail a guy or girl has ever left you?

If you still got it, you should still flaunt it

Singer Beyonce sang an entire song on her last album about being upset with her guy, going to the back of her closet and finding that one dress that she know she looked good in. Then she went out to have fun with her girlfriends.

When it comes to relationships, I think we as women often find ourselves in a rut where we get too comfortable. If he's all right seeing us sit around the house in sweats and jeans, we figure we have nothing to prove.

It's very nice to have someone you can be your unapologetic self around. You don't have to worry about being out there in the streets competing with the rest of the women trying to get attention.

However, I think it is just as important to remind why he was physically attracted to you in the first place every once in awhile. Even my married friends say they notice a change in their guy's attitude when they decide to put on something flattering and go to a concert or a lounge with their girlfriends.

How important do you think it is to a relationship to make an effort to look extra good when going out? How often do you think it should be done? Or do you think once you've snagged a guy, it shouldn't matter?

The biggest risk you've taken for love

The parents of one of my friends have a cute story about how they met. I heard the story years ago, so forgive me if my memory is a little foggy. But the gist of the story is this.

The pair was in gym class together in high school, and at the time my friend's mom was engaged to another man. I believe they were set to marry right after graduation. One day, my friend's dad approaches her and tells her that he could treat her better than her fiance ever could, if she would just give him a chance. She broke off the engagement. Not long after, my friend's parents married.

Asking out an already engaged woman was a gutsy move for my friend's dad, and it was a risky move for my friend's mom to accept. If I were already engaged to someone, I don't think I could even consider giving up the plans there already were in place for myself. If the new relationship didn't work out, my friend's mom also would have lost her old love. But sometimes, as in this case, taking a single risk produces a great reward. The couple has been married for around 25 years now, I believe.

What's the biggest risk you have ever taken for love? Have you ever gone after someone who was already taken? Has anyone approached you about leaving your current SO for them?

Tests are for STDs, classes and job placement, not relationships

I personally hate when anyone does something "just to see how you would react", particularly when it comes to relationships.

I've been told by many people that I don't quite wear my emotions on my sleeve, on my face or anywhere else for that matter. It's just not my personality.

So, I've actually known guys who (and yes, guys do this) try to make me jealous to show that I care. In some instances, particularly when I was younger, I would react accordingly just for a guy to say something like "glad to see you care". As I get older, I can usually see through it and try to ignore it.

And of course, this behavior is not limited to guys. I've known plenty of girls who have danced with other guys or have another guy call them while they're with their real object of affection to get a rise out of the person.

In the end, I know actions speak louder than words, but the mere act of testing me to get me to act doesn't make me think too highly of a person.

So what do you think about administering tests to determine how someone feels about you? Have you ever tested someone? Has anyone ever tested you?

I'll follow you down (but not that far?)

Rose is out, but she left the following for our loyal readers.

This post comes special to you from Washington, D.C. My travel buddies
(two friends and my boyfriend) and I walked down to the White House
Sunday night to see the home of our president. We stood at the wrought
iron fence, and my friends contemplated how far they could get before
the police stopped them if they jumped the fence. They didn't jump it.

Seeing the White House got me thinking about presidents' wives and how
they probably had to give up some of their own ambitions in order to
let their husbands follow theirs. Let's face it, when you're the
spouse of someone running for president, you throw yourself into that
activity. You're on the campaign trail, and you're putting a smile on
your face so that you look like the perfect couple and the perfect
family. Then, if your spouse is elected president, you take on all the
duties of being the First Lady (or, hey, maybe First Lad in the
future). Not that being the First Lady would be all that bad a gig,
but if you have another career you're working toward, it can be a
bummer to put it on hold.

This issue is not unique to the presidency. It can apply to anyone in
almost any career, whether you're a man or a woman. Nowadays, most
women have just as many goals and just as much drive as men. While in
the past, it may have been typical for a woman to follow a man on his
career path, that isn't necessarily the case anymore. Women aren't
likely to give up their own goals to follow their man's. For example,
I have my own goals I'd like to reach in journalism. My boyfriend has
his own goals he'd like to reach in his chosen field. Ideally, we'll
be able to keep working and living in the same city, but in these
tough economic times, that may not always be possible. If one of us
has to move, it's not a given that the other one will be able to
follow.

So how do you have a relationship without either of you giving up your
career goals? Do you just roll the dice and hope for the best? Or do
you make a plan, like I'll do this for you this time, and you do this
for me next time? Or do you follow your own path, and try to keep the
relationship even if it's over a long distance for an undetermined
amount of time?

Is there really such a thing as harmlessly flirting?

Just this past weekend, I was hanging out with a married friend during an out-of-town trip.

Throughout our trip, we kept encountering guys, some we knew and some that we didn't know. And whenever we met these guys, she never mentioned that she was married even though you could tell that some of the guys were very interested.

However, she would do a lot of flirting and jokingly proposition some of the guys. She would make sexual jokes and lots of innuendo. And yes, she was sober.

But in the end, when the guys tried to make a final move or increasingly show his level of interest, she would state that she was harmlessly flirting. Of course, the guys didn't see it that way. They felt like they were led on.

Do you believe there is a such thing as harmless flirting when you are in a relationship? If so, how far do you think it should go?

Just 676 miles to go ...

I'm leaving on a little vacation tomorrow to Washington, D.C. I've been to our nation's capital once, but it was for a conference, and I never really saw the outside of the hotel, so that's doesn't really count. I'll be traveling with two friends and my boyfriend. It should be some good times.

Obviously, traveling with friends and my boyfriend will be different than traveling with just my boyfriend. To save money, the four of us have opted to share one hotel room, so there won't really be a lot of private time. Plus, I'm sure our friends don't want to see us being all mushy the whole trip while they're trying to enjoy a vacation.

I don't think this will be an issue for us; I tend to believe that my BF and I exhibit an appropriate amount of PDA. However, with some couples, you can't help but to just yell: Get a room!

Have you ever traveled with a couple that couldn't keep their hands off each other? What did you do? If you're single, do you like traveling with couples or would you rather it be all singles? If you're in a couple, do you care whether you're traveling with singles or other couples?

Do first dates always flop?

There's no such thing as a good first date, or so says my boyfriend.

His reasoning? Usually both people are so nervous that conversation's not that great. As a result, the pair ends up sitting there staring at each other in awkward silence wondering why there's nothing to say. Obviously, this doesn't hold true for people who begin dating after they have already developed a friendship. But it is the case for people who only know each other by acquaintance or who are on a blind date. In fact, it's for this reason, he says, that people despise blind dates. They're all awkward first dates, so of course they're awful, he says.

If you can't already tell, he believes a second date is a must in truly figuring out if you're compatible with someone.

Me on the other hand, I'm not so sure it's that cut and dry. While I agree that, yes, first dates are absolutely awkward, I don't agree that automatically translates to awful. Even with all the awkwardness, you still get clues about your attraction and chemistry with the other person. I've been on first dates that include smiles and laughs, alongside the nervous butterflies and sweaty palms. They definitely were not awful. To that end, if a first date sucks, most likely the guy's not getting a second chance.

Do believe all first dates are bad? What was the best/worst first date you've been on? Do you believe in giving second chances if a first date totally flopped?

Who knew divorce was a luxury?

Just think. You and your spouse have come to the unfortunate conclusion that you just are not meant for one another. However, you are looking forward to some finality that comes with a divorce.

However, then gasoline prices went up along with groceries. And then the housing market started going drastically down,

This is the time when you look at your partner and say “maybe we should hold off on this divorce for a little while.”

Supposedly, more and more people are doing that in these hard economic times. More people are willing to seek counseling or just delay the inevitable.

I cannot say I don’t understand wanting to save money. However, I do wonder what lasting effects can come from remaining in a situation that has already been labeled as unhealthy.

Do you think if you were considering getting a divorce, you would let the economy dictate the timing? Do you think delaying such a decision results in more couples staying together in the long-run?

Technology: Helps or hinders intimacy?

In past, during the Dark Ages before cell phones and the Internet, staying connected in a long distance relationship was a little more than challenging. Love letters -- the real kind, sent via the good 'ole U.S. Postal Service -- were the main means of communicating. Expensive long distance phone calls were special privileges, not a right.

Today, communicating long distance is much easier. E-mail, instant messaging, text messaging and cell phone service all help long distance couples stay in touch. Even at thousands of miles away, someone can still be at the tip of your fingers.

But with instant communication comes its own challenges. While we may appear to be in touch on the surface, how intimate are the conversations we're having when we don't cherish the time we have together? Old fashioned letters take time and thought to write. They reveal innermost thoughts much better than a text message with 160-word limit. Even e-mail doesn't compare. Seeing someone's own penmanship can be comforting with the knowledge that they wrote especially for you.

This is not to condemn modern technology. Even short love notes in a text can bring smiles to a day. But I wonder if somehow in bringing us closer together, technology also brings us further apart.

How do you use technology to communicate in your own relationships? Does technology help or hinder intimacy?

Laying on the love during a lay-off

We all know we are living in some difficult economic times.

In the past couple of months, I've known a couple of people who have been laid off.

In one scenario, it's not really going that well. A female acquaintance of mine lost her job in banking and her fiancee has basically been torturing her since her last day on the job. On her first day of unemployment, he basically told her that she was pretty much of waste of space when she didn't have a job.

On the other hand, when one of my male friends was laid off from his factory job for a couple of months, his wife began doing event planning and various arts and crafts to support the home.

Obviously, the first scenario is an example of what I don't believe a significant other should do when you lose your job. That's not even tough love. That's just tough.

Losing your job is something that is usually unforeseen. As such, it should be handled with care. That being said, I don't think once you get past supporting the person, the way you handle your partner varies depending on the type of person. If you are dating the easily self-motivated, a few days of sitting around meditating (or crying) over the lost job is all right because they will usually get over it and start trying to move forward in a positive direction. However, if you are dating the complete opposite, you may want to purchase some books on resume writing over the course of the pity party.

If your mate were to come home and tell you they were laid off, what do you think you would do? What do you think is the best approach? Have you ever been in such a situation before?

How do you react to a break up?

I know we're all adults here, but sometimes during a break up, even the most mature people can revert back to their middle school days.

From avoiding an ex to talking bad about them behind their back, break ups can cause seemingly normal adults to become catty and paranoid. Personally, I avoid my exes. It doesn't matter who did the breaking up. I can think of possibly nothing more awkward than running into an ex, pretending nothing happened and be like, "Dude, what's up?"

I have friends who will take no time in telling off the person who broke up with them. After I was wronged by one guy, one of my girlfriends offered (in jest, I'm sure) to slash his tires. Some people cry for days. Some decide to start completely anew and change their look. Others embark on ill-fated attempts to win their ex back.

Love -- and more often than not, lust -- can make people do some crazy things. I once hit an apple with a tennis racket and pretended it was a guy's head. (This was not my idea, but it was a therapeutic one. The apple went pretty far. Although it did not explode like I expected it to.)

How do you typically respond to a break up? What's the craziest thing you've ever done as a result of one?

Your S.O.: Can you leave home without them?

While it feels like it’s already here, summer is quickly approaching. For those of us who are fortunate enough to not have our budgets completely obliterated by gas prices and groceries, that means a prime time to take a vacation. If you’re even luckier, you may get some extended time to take a vacation depending on your company’s policy or your life circumstances.

So you’ve decided that you want to head somewhere, whether it’s a locale with a music festival or a beautiful beach. Now, all you need to figure out is who to invite along?

If you’re in a serious relationship, this may appear to be an easy choice.. Some people would say you automatically invite or bring along your significant other. But what if you just want to hang out with your friends.

I’m a proponent of the location determines the tagalongs. If I’m going out of town for a music festival or shopping, I’m more inclined to go with my friends. If it’s a cruise or somewhere romantic, I’d probably bring my guy.

I’m also equal opportunity. If he wants to go to the biggest wrestling match ever held or Las Vegas for a fight, feel free to go with your buddies.

When you are planning a vacation, do you automatically assume your significant other will serve as your travel partner? Do you think it is wrong not to invite your significant other on a getaway? Do you feel that certain factors play a role in determining whether your significant other comes with you?

Playing games: A necessary evil?

People play a lot of different games when it comes to dating. Some of those include:

* Playing hard to get;
* Always acting the part of the damsel in distress (for women);
* Purposely being a jerk because "women like that" (for men); and
* Waiting a certain amount of time before calling someone because that's what everyone believes is appropriate

Most of the time, playing games is viewed in a negative light. The argument against playing games is that they do nothing to foster open, honest discussion, and if you really like someone, you should just say so. Some games, like acting like the needy damsel in distress and acting like a big tough jerk, are almost sure to back fire when a person's true personality is revealed.

But dating games are so prevalent in our society, that I think some are almost necessary. For example, if you call a date too soon, the other person might think you're desperate. The same goes for unabashedly showing your interest (which would be the opposite of playing hard to get). Or worse, non-game playing could be misconstrued as playing some other twisted game, leading to questions like: Why is he showing that much interest? Is he a stalker? and Why is she calling me before I call her? Does she want to get married and have babies right away? It's amazing the things our over-analytical minds can think up.

So where's the balance? Somewhere between revealing all your feelings up front and sending mixed signals. I don't have the answers as to how you strike the balance. Lord knows, I've been way too aloof and way too needy to ruin some potential relationships myself. But it's something worth aiming toward.

Do you play games while dating? Have you ever dated a game player? Are dating games a necessary evil when courting someone? What would dating be like if no one played games, and everyone was honest with each other?

Breaking up with their family is hard to do

So many times, you hear about people in relationships disliking their significant other’s family members for one reason or another.

But sometimes, a person is not only lucky enough to like their S.O.’s family members, but fall in love with them as well.

Which means it doubly sucks when you break up.

Not only are you breaking up with the significant other, but at some point you have to break up with their family.

This can be hard depending on the degree of closeness you formed with the family and the length of the relationship. If you were together for only two months, it’s probably a lot easier than if you were together for five years. Also, if you only saw the family members when you were dropping them off, it’s probably easier than if you spent every holiday at their home or ventured out on family trips.

I was once in a long-term relationship and after, we broke up, I kept in contact with the guy’s grandmother for a while because we had grown close. However, I realized after awhile that it was detrimental to her trying to build a relationship with anybody else he dated. And it didn’t help hearing her insult every new girlfriend that came along. It just didn’t seem healthy.

Do you think it is right to maintain contact with an ex’s family? If so, what should be the extent of the contact?

Is dating still relevant?

I couldn't tell you what was the first date my boyfriend and I went on.

It could have been Christmas tree shopping. Or it could have been the movie we watched later that night. Or maybe it was a couple days later when we went on a picnic near the Ocmulgee River.

It's hard to distinguish because we never had that defined date moment where boy asks girl, "Will you go out with me?" Instead, we saw each other casually as our two groups of friends began to overlap. Then we started texting each other. I asked if he wanted to go to Wal-Mart to pick out a Christmas tree with me. Then he asked if I wanted to watch a movie later that night. And from there we started "dating," but it more closely resembled hanging out than the traditional meaning of the word might imply.

I don't think I'm the only one who has ever moved into this dating gray area. And it's bound to happen more often as more men and women start dating people they know as friends. One minute you're hanging out, and the next you're making out. What happened to the date? I don't know for sure, but I have one idea.

Technology. I mentioned that before we started dating, my boyfriend and I texted each other, and we also sent messages on Facebook. This casual form of interacting takes away all the pressure of asking someone out on an official date. Flirting is easy when you can't see the other person's reaction. So instead of saying, "Do you want to go out Friday night," you say something like I did: "I'm gonna buy a Christmas tree in a minute. Wanna come?" He says yes, and there is instant gratification. There's no time to worry about picking out the right clothes or fretting that he'll show up on time, two attributes of the traditional date. You just do it, and move on to the next thing you enjoy.

Do you agree about the decline of the traditional date? Is dating still relevant today? Are we more likely to hang out and make out rather than set up a date at a specified time and place?

I'm not staying with you and him

I tend to like to travel and visit my friends quite a bit.

However, as I get older, more and more of my friends are living with their boyfriends.

When I visit my single friends, I tend to crash on their couch or futon. However, when it comes to cohabitating friends, I tend to opt for a hotel or other accommodations,

Recently, I was questioned about this by one of my friends who lives in Atlanta. When she was single, I stayed over whenever I could. Now that her boyfriend lives there, I come over and we hang out. Then I leave.

She got worried that I didn’t like her boyfriend (which is not the case). I just don’t feel it’s respectful for me as a single woman to stay with her and her boyfriend. I also feel that it would bring about a lack of comfort because I would probably worry about things I shouldn’t even give a second thought.

When it was just her, there were no questions of pajamas being too revealing or saying the wrong thing. But that changes when you throw him in.

What do you think about a single woman staying with her friend and boyfriend?

Woo me, please!

After a year-and-a-half of dating, my boyfriend and I are solidly in the comfortable stage of our relationship. In some ways it's nice. We don't have to try to impress each other, so I can just lounge around in my PJs with no make-up on. We have a routine in which we take turns making dinners for each other of Hamburger Helper and various pastas (neither of us are great chefs).

But it's those same things that make the comfortable stage so great that also make the comfortable stage so ... boring. Most of our time alone revolves around renting movies at our apartment, which is fun, just not all the time. Plus, it's really hard to do the whole "pick me up for a date" shtick when we both get ready in the same apartment.

Over the weekend the BF, and I talked about this and agreed that we would make more of an effort to do date nights on a regular basis. Despite our mutual hatred of movie theater prices, we'll take time to go see movies that really spark our interest. I think we're going to head out to Starcadia one weekend for fun, too.

For my boyfriend, the comfort zone is the place to be, and he relishes in it. For me, and I think many other women, I still want to be wooed every now and then. Maybe some flowers would be nice, too.

Do you think men and women view the comfort zone differently? How can you keep a relationship fresh once you enter the comfort zone?

I know your intentions are good...

But seriously I am doing O.K. by myself.

Since I moved to middle Georgia, I have found myself surrounded by married women or women who are in good relationships. And that’s all well and good- for them. And they want me to be just like them.

My dating luck in middle Georgia really hasn’t been all that great. I’ve been out a few times here and there, but the chemistry was just never right.

So my friends who are very happy in their situations are constantly trying to hook me up whether it’s their sons, brothers, guys at their church or guys at their jobs.

The interesting thing is I have a male friend who has the same problem among his male friends. He’s the only completely single guy and they’re trying to get him to settle down.

Our groups of friends often intermingle so of course they have decided that the solution is to try to bring the guy and myself together. He and I have discussed this and it’s just a no-go. But we’re still friends.

So we both find ourselves trying to get our friends off of our backs.

Have you ever been in the situation where your well-meaning friends kept trying to hook you up? How do you go about handling it?

Sex & the City's influence on dating

The Sex and the City movie that debuted this past weekend was wildly popular with women, and it showed at the box office. Perhaps one reason for its popularity is the effect the four lovely chicas have had on not only their fictional relationships but our own.

A survey conducted by the dating blog Engage, has found that eight out of 10 singles believe that Sex and the City "made it more acceptable for women to have fun dating and worry less about finding a committed relationship."

In addition, 43 percent of singles said the HBO series and movie made it more acceptable for women to be unfaithful, and 52 percent said it influenced their dating life.

Now, I've seen the show (although not all of it), and I plan to see the movie. Although I have had some bones to pick with SATC, I will agree with the statement about the show making it more acceptable for women to have fun dating. There are so many double standards when it comes to women and dating. Generally, women who assert themselves are viewed in a negative light, while some of those very same assertions made by a man would be viewed as positive.

I'm not advocating all of the women's actions. Quite frankly, I think both women and men can cross the line into inappropriateness and promiscuity sometimes. But I do think the show gave women greater confidence and equality. It showed that world that it's OK to be an assertive woman that can ask for -- and get -- what she wants.

Do you think Sex and the City has influenced modern dating? What about your own personal dating style? Which of the characters best represents your dating personality?