If you ask some people, the whole notion of actually "dating" is dead. They will say that people are all about hooking up these days.
But Washington Post reporter Laura Sessions Stepp spent a whole year determining how the "hooking up" culture can leave women feeling especially "unhooked."
Unhooked, as Stepp deems it, is a sense of denial that women go through after a hook-up. Though a woman may say she's fine with just getting physical gratification, the actual truth is she may want more. And that weighs on her intensely.
The burden could lead to emotional turmoil, depression, alcohol dependence and eating disorders or at least that's what the article says. But not only that, women, who often are thought as the ones wanting love the most, are slowly but surely developing habits making them almost incapable of experiencing love. Through hooking up, they are gaining a lack of trust while not using communication skills vital to healthy relationships.
Now, you would think with "Sex and the City," "Lipstick Jungle" and whatever other show that depicts that women are just as bold and brash as men when it comes to casual sex that Stepp is being completely contradictory of what pop culture, some surveys and out surroundings is feeding us. But hey, who do you trust more HBO, MTV and Cosmopolitan or a news reporter?
But that is not the real question here. The real question I pose is what do you think of Stepp's stance on hooking up being unhealthy? Do you and your friends engage in the "hooking up" culture? If so, have you or your friends ever become "unhooked"?
Monday, February 11, 2008
Could hooking up be unhealthy for women?
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4 comments:
Hooking up will mess you up eventually anyway. People might get mad at me saying this but, women aren't designed to mess around and not feel anything. The ones who do have numbed themselves to get over bad experiences. Even if you've numbed yourself up and had a steamy tryst with a guy you don't want a serious relationship with, once you've come down from your high, you send him off in the morning, shake your head and wonder why he was even there in the first place. It's even worse if you are with a man who has said he doesn't want a relationship and you are still in the game having a sexual relationship, swearing that you can continue without feelings.
When it's all said and done, even the gals from Sex and the City knew deep down, despite all of their exploits, they needed something real.
i think its bull when people always say that women are incapable of just wanting a physical relationship. different people are wired different ways. i know plenty of guys who get attached to females pretty easily & quickly. and i know plenty of females who get go from guy to guy with no emotional attachment. i just think it depends on where the person is in their life & that person in general. not everyone wants to be coupled up or married with 2.5 kids by the time they are 25. some people are relationship people and some people just want companionship. i dont think hooking up makes you incapable of love or messes you up eventually. i think that hooking up or more so casually dating gives you the opportunity to explore the abundant options that are out there before you settle into domestication.
and when it comes down to it the media portrays women who bed hop as either heartless and/or bitter vixens or as women who evntually fall in too deep. but in reality it can work. but it IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY. if you know you have a tendency to "fall in love" with each person you date/sleep with you should go into relationships very very carefully. but if you think you can handle it go ahead and embrace your inner samantha. at the very last you'll have interesting stories to share with your friends
Preach NYM. Preach.
umm, has anyone ever heard of AIDS and STDs? of course hooking up is unhealthy...
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