One of the hardest blows to a person's ego is finding out that a former lover who you are still trying to get over — or who you thought you got over — has actually moved on before you.
And it's one thing if you had only been dating a few months. It's a completely different thing if you had dated for years. The other night I read online (I don't remember where, or else I'd link it), about a woman who learned her ex was engaged to another woman, just months after they had broken up. And she and her ex had dated for five years!
The woman had all the obvious feelings: jealousy, betrayal, disappointment, sadness. A situation like this automatically makes you question yourself about what's wrong with you. You wonder why — after so many years — your partner didn't propose to you but rather someone he barely knows (comparatively speaking).
These feelings are normal, but in such instances it's important to keep in mind that what one person does post-break up, has nothing to do with the other. Even just months apart can change a person, and two people can be drastically different than when they dated.
Have you ever been in a situation where your ex moved on or got married before you did? Did it bother you? If so, how did you deal with it?
Friday, November 9, 2007
He moved on, she didn't
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1 comment:
Been there, done that. 5 years into a relationship my ex informed me that she was interested in someone else. Oh, I should have taken the hinks, "why not date others?" "I really don't think marriage is for me." I was stupid to invest five years. I should have seen the writing on the wall much sooner but I was deeply in love. She moved on with her new beau, dumped him in a matter of months, moved overseas and eventually married an enlisted man. I was devistated at the break up but as the years go by, I realize just how lucky I really am.
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