Monday, November 5, 2007

Proposal pressure

One of my best friends got engaged over the weekend (congrats Linds and Spencer!), and it got me thinking about all the pressure men face to make the perfect proposal.

First of all, the man is the one expected to make the proposal. Even though we're in an age when women frequently ask men out and pay for dates, it's still taboo for women to pop the question. Even if we've discussed it with our SO, we still want to be asked.

And once he's about to pop that question, we want to experience that "special moment." Now that special moment may differ from woman to woman, but I think I can safely say few women want their men to nonchalantly ask those four words while watching TV and scratching themselves.

The pressure that has mounted on wedding proposals, I think, has only been intensified by the increasing importance put on other events such as prom. Nowadays, an invitation to prom could consist of a scavenger hunt and dozens of red roses. A woman who received that treatment as a teen is only going to expect more as an adult.

I could go on a slippery slope here and say giving extravagant proposals means spending more money which means more couples start out their married lives in debt, but I won't go there.

Why do you think it's still the man's job to ask a woman to marry him? Why do you think proposals are getting so extravagant? Men: Do you feel pressure to perform the perfect proposal? Women: Would you be disappointed if a man's proposal did not live up to your expectations?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think that as a culture Americans base their ideas of love, romance and marriage on what they see on television and movies. Deep down women want that steroetypical knight in shining armor and a "perfect" proposal, both of which are just part of a storybook romance. People have a distorted sense of marriage and love. The perfect proposal does not mean he loves you more.

Anonymous said...

Mine was "Hey, babe, want to get married when my family is in town?"

I was watching wrestling with him. About as far from romantic as you can get.

I married him anyway!