I have a rule that I will never lend money to anyone. It doesn't matter if it's $5 or upwards of $100. It doesn't matter if you're my boyfriend, best friend, sister, co-worker or casual acquaintance. It's not personal; it's just a policy I have.
You can call me stingy if you want, but my reasons are much more important than money. Time and time again relationships are ruined over money. Loans that aren't paid or paid in a timely matter can result in fights, or even court cases, between two friends. I learned this from all the years my parents' have religiously watched "Judge Judy."
Even if I completely trust the other person to pay me back, there is still the possibility of feeling resentment toward the borrower. If, following the loan, the other person spends money on what seems to be "wants" rather than needs, I'll wonder why that person is spending so frivolously when he or she still owes me money. Insert arguments here.
For these reasons, I believe it's best to leave money out of the relationship.
Would you ever lend money to a significant other? Why or why not? If have have lent money before, how did it turn out?
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Inter-relationship lending
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Subscribe to this blog
14 comments:
Wow, your boyfriend and friends must really depend on you...especially now that they know that there is a line you draw when it comes to being supportive.
My BF has offered to lend me money on more than one occasion, and each time I have turned it down. He isn't bitter because he is the one who offered when he knew I needed some help. I haven't taken it because I am more of someone who likes to work out hard times on their own.
I think it's nice to have someone I know will be there for me if I really need it...it's not something I will ever take advantage of.
And it's like that with my friends as well...we have no problems covering for someone if they forget their wallet or don't have enough money. We love each other, and that is what you do for people you love.
You may want to reconsider your stance...there is a thin-line between being cold and protecting yourself in this case. I really feel bad for your BF and your friends...if they ever found themselves in a jam, guess who they won't be turning to?
Never loan what you can't afford to ever get back.
Why in the world would anyone in their right mind lend more than they could afford? At that point, yes, you may want to rethink lending money. But if you love someone and they are in a bind? What's the problem?
In my opinion you are not a true friend or dependable SO if you can't share your money in times of need. If you can't offer this help in times of need it can and most likely will effect other areas of your relationship. You might wish you had rethought this rule you proclaim and be more supportive. You sound quite immature. Sorry...
I don't give loans. If someone desperately needs money, I'll just give it to them and not expect it back. Banks, not friends, are for loans.
You just completely changed your stance! You can't change it now just because you have revealed that you are not a dependable girlfriend or friend. What a hypocrite!
At least stick to your orginial opinion...people may still hold a little bit of respect for you then.
Hey Rose, Didn't you write this:
"For these reasons, I believe it's best to leave money out of the relationship."
So, what you just tried to respond with is a lie. Your poor BF, he must like high maintenance women!
A gift is not a loan, and loan is not a gift. Any good lawyer will tell you there's a difference.
Stick to your guns, Rose. I have the same policy about loaning money and have yet to lose a relationship with a friend, lover or family member because of it.
So in that case Rose, money isn't left out of this relationship and you wasted blog space....
Nice way to try and seem less heartless...it's not fooling anyone...
What's with all this venom against Rose. There's no need to personally attack someone. Share your opinion on the topic and if you disagree with her that's fine, but seriously, calling someone immature, heartless and a hypocrite is just going to far. Lemmie guess, Rose didn't loan you any money...
As bloggers we respond to the orginal posting. Maybe more research and proofreading should be done before anything is published on Macon Love. Are there any new job openings? !!!
Rose, if the "shoe fits" wear it !
Post a Comment