When you're getting to know someone, maintaining a low-key profie is completely understandable. The person may not be around after awhile and you don't want to hear "what ever happened to........?"
However, if you've been in an official relationship with someone for a good amount of time and your family and friends don't know, that may be a problem.
I think you have to ask yourself why are you keeping this from them. Is it because you think they won't approve? Are you embarrassed about the person you're dating? Or is it that you think telling people you are happy in a relationship will have an adverse effect on the relationship?
Mind you, I have witnessed someone telling her family "my husband and I are having a baby" only for everyone to respond "You're married?" She had been married for a year and wanted a period of wedded bliss without interference from the family.
Do you think it is right to ever hide a relationship from your family and friends? If not, why do you think that way? If so, what do you think is an appropriate amount of time?
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Hiding your relationships
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5 comments:
I hid that I had gotten back together with my boyfriend from my family until I was sure that it was what I wanted to do. They had strong opinions about him, but I wanted to make up my own mind without them weighing in every time I talked to them. It was the best decision because I knew it was what I wanted to do - I told them about a month later, and although they expressed their feelings then, I could take it because I was already sure of how I felt.
But I totally would never hide if I was married...for a year no less! There must be some serious family issues if that happens!!
i think that if you're hiding a relationship that you don't deserve to be in one at all. i can speak for myself and say that i'd shout it from the rooftop if someone cared about me.
I personally see nothing wrong with excluding outsiders from your relationships. I have seen too many times when friends and families have ruined perfectly good relationships with their meddling and outright interference. I am all for keeping others out of the loop until I feel that the relationship is in a solid place and I feel that it is time that others meet my significant other. That has a lot to do with me not liking people knowing my business, but thats another story. However, I would be sure to do this BEFORE I got married.
There's a big difference between "hiding" a relationship and keeping the new guy/gal away from the family for awhile until you know you're on solid ground. That just makes sense, hiding the fact that you're even in a relationship is a sign of trouble. Which are you ashamed of -- the family or the new significant other? And hiding a marriage for a year? That's just whack.
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