With all the dating advice books, columns and blogs out there, it's hard to imagine that anyone can get a date. Although most advice-givers mean well, for the most part, they promote playing games as a means to get into a relationship.
Does any of this sound familiar? A man has to wait three days before calling a woman. A woman cannot call a man. Be available, but not too available. Show interest, but don't be too interested. The list goes on.
As far as I'm concerned, all these rules of the game promote nothing more than a cat and mouse chase that ends in frustration and nights spent wondering, "Is he really interested in me?" In the end, cats and mice really never can live in harmony.
With my current boyfriend, I threw caution to the wind, and basically just came out and said, "I like you. Do you like me?" My thinking was this: I like this guy, and I think he likes me, but if he doesn't, I don't want to waste a week or a month trying to figure out if he likes me back. I'd rather know now, so if he doesn't, I can just start to get over it. Plus, I'm less emotionally attached right now because I haven't been analyzing feelings in my head for the last however many weeks.
Luckily for me, this worked. Sure, playing games can be exciting and emotionally charged, and in the past I even participated in them. But I guess at the ripe ole age of 23, I've just decided to spare myself the emotional roller coaster that playing games entail and seek out what (or who) I want.
What do you think about playing games? Do you think they're a necessary part of dating? If you play games, what are some key rules? What are some success stories? What about horror stories?
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
In games, there's always a winner and a loser
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2 comments:
I hate playing games. When I was still single, if a guy seemed like he was trying that crap, I quit talking to him. I don't want to waste my time with someone who is too immature to tell me what he really thinks or wants.
If he likes you he'll maybe show or maybe he won't. You don't lose anything by just asking him. The worst thing that can happen to you is a "no". That's nothing. On the other hand if he says "yes" that doesn't mean you're going to marry him straightaway. It's just the starting point in getting to know someone. So why waste time doing what others tell you to do, when the important thing in any relationship, the basic thing for it to work, is respect and honesty?
I say! :)
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