Monday, May 14, 2007

Women's actions can intimidate men

After a whirlwind weekend of visiting with my best college friends, I feel like I still need another day off. One of my friends just graduated, and we all got together (most boyfriends included) to celebrate her accomplishments.

As is typical when the six of us girls get together, we talk all at once, sit on each other and are generally loud and obnoxious. The boys were great sports, though, and simply took turns playing Nintendo on the computer while we rehashed the last year of our lives.

Throughout college, the girls had always joked that as a group, we scared guys. This probably was more a fact than a joke, though. We had the ability to talk over each other, yet remain completely on track in the conversation, and it was always possible we'd dissolve in a fit of giggles at the slightest mention of some inside joke. The unfortunate guy who was present usually remained silent, somewhat excluded from the conversation going on around him.

Many women don't realize that large groups of them can intimidate guys. Consequently, when we go out to pick up men, we're unintentionally thwarting our actions because we're around our female friends all of the time. For the most part, a guy doesn't want to approach a woman who is surrounded by five others because if she turns him down, he faces five-times the rejection. The same goes for speaking up in a conversation dominated by women. It's basic math. A solution to this is going out in smaller groups or even (gasp!) alone. Also, try to introduce a new guy to the group one-by-one, so he doesn't feel overwhelmed.

Women and men: Do you agree that men can be intimidated if women hang out in large groups? What can women do about this? Men, have you ever been the lone man in the situation? What was that like? How would you like to be included in the conversation?

On a side note, for those of you paying attention, you'll see a new contributor to Macon Love starting tomorrow. "Raven" will be filling in for Roxy while she is away on leave. I have read some of Raven's personal blogs, and I know she'll bring a unique perspective to Macon Love. Welcome her with open arms.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

nooo!! where is roxy going???

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure I'm at liberty to say, but she will return in six weeks :)

BeckiLG said...

I know I appreciate any man who at least tries to hold his own in the group, even if he does end up playing nintendo to keep his sanity at some point! If you can't keep up with my girls, you can't keep up with me.