Wednesday, May 16, 2007

A "couple" of problems

A recent letter indicates that I have been invited to the wedding of two of my friends (no big surprise there). However, I had been under the assumption the invitation would say something about an additional guest being invited as well. That guest, of course, being my boyfriend.

I was e-mailing an out-of-state friend this morning about the situation, and it turns out she is in the same boat, plus her boyfriend already is coming to town to visit with her parents. (Since my boyfriend and I already live in the same state as the wedding, this is not as much a big deal for us.) We both understand that if another guest is invited, it usually is indicated on the invitation, but my friend thought maybe the couple wasn't up-to-date on our dating statuses, hence, no extra line for an invite. She said her boyfriend recently encountered the same problem with one of his friends who didn't know he was seeing someone, and after a quick phone call, a guest was added without a problem.

Of course, there always is the possibility the omission was intentional simply because the couple wants to have a small wedding or save money or for any other number of reasons. (I have no knowledge of wedding plans, so everything I say is pure speculation.) I would not want to make the situation awkward by inquiring about a guest if that would put an undue hardship on the couple because after all, it is their day.

Does anyone out there know the proper etiquette to follow for a situation like this? When it comes to making plans -- be it a wedding, a party or a reunion -- is it usually a given that if someone is in a relationship you should to invite both people?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do not assume your boyfriend is invited. If you feel close enough to the bride-to-be, you should call and check before arriving with an uninvited guest. If you do not feel you can ask first, then your boyfriend should stay home. Doesn't even matter if you get there and she asks you why he didn't come. You still followed proper etiquette by not bringing him since his name was not on the invitation.

BeckiLG said...

If the case is just that they didn't know about him, then why would he want to go to the wedding of someone he doesn't even know?

I know I'd feel like a burden (besides being rediculously bored) at the wedding of someone I'd never met before.

Anonymous said...

if the person doesn't even know you have a boy, how close are you and should he even come then?