You're in the middle of planning your wedding. The dress has been picked out. The invitations have been sent. Every thing's on track.
Now, if only you could erase that feeling of foreboding in the feeling of your stomach (unless you're having a shotgun wedding, then you may want to push up the date).
You're thinking is it too late to say no. I say it's never too late to say no.
Last year, I had purchased a bridesmaid's dress and an airplane ticket to watch one of my closest friends marry the supposed love of her life.
I receive a phone call the month before the wedding saying it was called off. Was I surprised? Not really.
Oftentimes, when we're in relationships, we don't listen- to ourselves. You know that inner voice that everyone talks about. It's the one that says he's a cheater or I'm not into him like that or I really can't see being with him forever.
Yet, sometimes you see a ring and you're stuck in the moment- for months or even years. And all of a sudden, you wake up. And you realize that this may not be what you want.
It's a lot easier to break up with someone than it is to get a divorce. It's usually a lot less cheaper as well.
But hey, I plan to keep a getaway car at the wedding venue just in case.
Do you think it's ever too late to back out of getting married?
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Backing out too late?
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12 comments:
While I don't think it is ever to late to cancel a wedding- the should be some kind of etiquette about it... My former roommate cancelled her wedding not even a week beforehand-- with a facebook message. To make matter worse, a majority of her wedding party was coming back from overseas early. While we were all glad she didn't go through with it for her sake, it could have been handled in a better fashion.
Even if it is the day before, cancel it if you suddenly realize it won't last! I hate to think people set themselves up for failure.
If you know you want that cute girl at work and not your fiancee...DON'T BE A DUMBASS (Ok, obviously a personal bitterness there, but you get my point).
Two words...long engagement. My husband and I got engaged very quickly, 3 months after we first meet. However, I took it very slow after that and had a long engagement. By the time the wedding came, I was more than ready to tie the knot.
I got engaged in the month of April and married in October of that same year. Huge mistake and after 21 years of hell I am a free woman once again. Yes !!!!
I was jilted once at the alter. Hurt real bad. A few years later, I found the love of my life and married. Been married 31 years.
I think it's important to be able to tell the difference between nerves and making a wrong decision, and I think they only mature adults can tell the difference. That's why it's essential that couples really know what to expect when they get engaged - the more you realize that it's not going to be romance all the time, the better equipped for the marriage you'll be.
edge: how long were you engaged?
as sad as breaking it off can be, sometimes it's for the best. but katie's right, use some decorum when doing it!
Wait. One person on here left a comment about 21 years of hell? Man you're pathetic.
It's never too late to call of a wedding. My friend is leaving her husband because he is constantly cheating on her...Guess what he was cheating on her before and she knew. Yet she felt it was "time" to get married (they had been together for 4 years), and maybe being married will change things. PLEASE! Once a dog always a dog!
rose,
I was engaged for 11 months. Now I know some people will stay engaged for several years, but we did not need that long in our case. It is a good way to 'play house' for a while to know that I can really live with this person for the rest of my life. I remember discussing that in a previous blog on here. But a long engagment helps, because you get over that first excitement of the fact and start to focus on how you will send the rest of your lives.
Thanks, edge!
i was engaged after 2 months of courtship, was intent on getting married after the third month. i didn't think there was anything to wait for. i thought all was well until i found out my fiance was in bankruptcy, she had a bad attitude when i decided to let her pay her own bills. i called it off a week before.
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