Thursday, December 6, 2007

Once burned, twice shy

There's an old cliche that applies to life in general as well as dating: Once burned, twice shy. Simply put, if we're hurt once, we'll be twice as suspicious about being hurt again.

This means that we could be unconsciously blaming our dates or partners for things they didn't do or even have control over. For instance, if a woman's ex cheated on her, she'll probably be suspicious of new men cheating on her. She may act paranoid or even accuse a man of cheating on her when he tells her he has to work late, even when that's the truth.

Similarly, a man who has dated a woman who wanted him only for his money, may worry that new partners want only the same. He may be resentful if the woman doesn't offer to pay, even if it's not her intention to take him for everything he's got.

Have you ever been a victim of this cliche? Have you been accused of doing something just because your date had a similar bad experience in the past? Have you ever accused dates of doing things that had happened to you in the past?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It appears you're taking your topics straight from the AOL relationship guru's.

They posed that same question just a few days ago and I'll bet you know the answer.

Anonymous said...

I spent a while in a bad relationship where the guy cheated on me several times. After that, it was really hard for me to trust guys. Even if they had never given me any cause to worry, I always had my suspicions.

Luckily, I managed to overcome that problem, but it took a lot of work on my part. I still have twinges every now and then, but I get over it.