Yours, mine or ours?

Making the decision to move in with a significant other is already a major deal.

However, the decision of whose place to choose can cause its own set of problems.

A lot of times factors such as costs, size and proximity come into the equation. A couple usually tries to pick the place that is most accommodating for both parties.

However, when moving in as a significant other, you make the transition from permanent guest to permanent fixture. This could mean changes in decor, schedules, grocery shopping habits and the like.

And I've even heard some people who, once their boyfriend/girlfriend has moved in, still manage to use the word "my" on a regular basis. (Ex: "my apartment", "my house", "my bathroom"). They've even gone so far as to tell them to get out in the middle of an heated argument.

That's a lot of changes and a lot of defiance to possibly go through.

I'm a proponent of temporarily living in one person's apartment until the lease is up and selecting an apartment together. This could even be done straight out the gate. This way you will be able to create a home that belongs to the both of you from the start.

For those that decided to share a place with their mate, how was the decision made? How did the transition work for you?

Dating divorcees

I've been told a story that when my mom was seriously looking at settling down, all the good men that were her age were either married or divorced. She couldn't date the married men and didn't want to date the divorced men, so she went after younger men. And, at age 27, that's how she met my dad -- a man who's five years younger.

On Tuesday, a fellow blogger asked us to touch on the topic of dating divorcees, some of whom have children. Of course, not everyone is adverse to dating divorcees like my mom was. When she got married it was in a different time when divorce was taboo. With the divorce rate how it is now, it's extremely likely that a large number of singles out there have been divorced -- especially as you get older.

The decision to date a divorcee, though, can be tough, especially for singles who have never married. The divorce automatically brings up the question of the person's commitment to marriage, along with musings of the past relationship and worries about maintaining a connection with the ex, especially if there are children involved. There can be jealousy issues, regarding either an ex or the time spent with children.

This is not to say that divorcees are not worthy of another commitment. If you've found someone you're interested in, you shouldn't write that person off simply because of a past marital status. However, you should know how you will behave around an ex or children, and you need to examine how you really feel about taking on any extra responsibility a second marriage would be.

And if you decide that's just not something you want to deal with, that's OK, too.

Have you/would you ever date a divorcee? Why or why not? If you have dated a divorcee, what issues did you have to deal with? What was the hardest part? Was it easier in any way? Would you do it again? Does being divorced have a stigma? Is it harder to find love as a divorcee?

Who runs this house again?

Living in a military town has certainly opened my eyes to the strain that can be placed on a relationship when a loved one is in the service.

That strain increases during a deployment and can even become worse after a long deployment.

While some of the people speak of being excited that their person is home, they also talk about what a transition it can be for the family.

In households where the military partner handled many of the household functions prior to deployment, a shift occurs. For a period of anywhere from six months to years, one partner has gotten use to controlling the finances, maintenance and every other aspect of the household.

When the military partner returns, some significant others are ready to relinquish all the duties they assumed in their absence. Others may like the way things operated while the significant other was away and may choose to maintain that way of living.

For the military partner who may have assumed that everything would return to normal, this can come as a surprise.

Are there any military wives or husbands out there who have dealt with this? How did you deal with it?

Give and take

Sometimes in a relationship, you do things that aren't particularly exciting to you simply because your partner wants to. Sometimes the company of the other person overrides any potential unpleasantness you might experience.

This week is one of those weeks for my boyfriend and me. Tonight, I know will not be my BF's cup of tea. We're going to see Disney on Ice: Princess Classics at the Macon Coliseum (we got free tickets, OK?), which I probably will get a kick out of , and he probably will groan through. Not to mention we'll probably be the only people in the audience without children.

But on Wednesday, it will be my turn to acquiesce when we go to Atlanta to see Tori Amos at The Fox (again, free tickets ... we got really lucky this week). I don't exactly listen to her music, but I know I'll have a great time just hanging out with the BF. Plus, it's at The Fox. Almost anything is good as long as its at The Fox.

For me, it's not about what you're doing, but who you're doing it with.

Have you ever done something you weren't interested in because it interested your partner? What are some of the things you've done? What are some things your partner has done for you? Why do you do these things? Do you think it's important to have this give and take in a relationship? Or do you feel that some interests are better kept separate?