There are a ridiculous amount of magazine articles and web sites dedicated to outlining important rules for men and women to live by when it comes to romance and relationships. In my experience, however, I have always found that it is best to make up rules that work for you and the relationship you are in or the relationship you want to be in. And of course, it does't hurt to listen to a little advice you hear along the way.
For me, my mom has come up with some good ones along the way, and I take note of them because my parent's had a terrific bond and an even better marriage. I think they were the exception to the rule that says couples that don't fight have a passionless relationship. My parents always seemed to enjoy being together, and I can only remember them fighting once — and the argument was quickly replaced with laughter.
The first rule I learned from my mom was to find someone that "you can laugh with." It seems so simple, but I think laughter and enjoying each other is definitely important. It's probably why I look for someone with a sense of humor and who I can have a good time with. My boyfriend makes me laugh more than anyone else (and he knows this!), and it's one of the reasons I think our relationship has stayed strong even through some of our bad times.
My mom also told my sister and I at a young age that if a man ever cheats on us or beats us, we are to leave the relationship immediately. I think I was around 10 when she told me that, and it sticks out even now. I definitely wouldn't put up with either of those situations.
I could go on, but I would like to hear from you. Has your mom or dad, or grandma ever passed down relationship advice that you deem important today?
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Mom's romance rules to live by
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Subscribe to this blog
5 comments:
My mom left rules for me to live by in the dating scene, and for the longest time I thought she was plain out of her mind.
I just decided one day to follow her rules and what do you know? They worked! The beauty about following the rules is that even if it doesn't work out in the relationship, you have still saved face and you don't feel so used and betrayed.
So anon, what were the rules? Don't keep them all a secret!
OK, here they are:
1. Don't call him unless he has called you and missed you and you are returning his call. If he is truly interested in you, HE WILL CALL YOU!
2. Don't sleep with him on the first date. That should be common sense, but sadly, we don't think about that.
3. If you've only been dating for a month, don't let him see you without looking your best. A lot of guys will say they don't care about that, but they do. After the thrill of the first few months have passed, then its OK to let you hair down a little.
4. Don't talk about marriage. Not a good topic for a first date and a sure fire way to scare him off.
5. Don't pay for stuff. If you start paying for his meals right off the bat, before long you will find yourself paying his bills too.
6. Don't talk about your X's. If you talk about them favorably, he will get the idea that you may still be in love with them. If you talk about them unfavorably, he might think you are psychotic. All in all, talking about your X's gives the impression you are still hung up on them.
They work.
Hmmmm ... I think I've only abided by one of those ...
Those rules look really easy, but when it comes down to following them, we sometimes get emotionally involved and our hormones take over. We end up breaking the rules and wind up feeling used and betrayed. It is so much better to follow the rules and call the shots in the relationship.
Post a Comment