Kids and current S.O. don't match

Recently, I heard a story about how a woman's children just refused to like her boyfriend.

She's been with the new guy for three years after divorcing the children's father after five years of marriage.

In all this time, she thought her children would warm up to her new guy. She said he often tries to extend olive branches to no avail. Whether it's showing interest in their activities or providing rewards for good performance in school and whatnot, the children continue to show resistance.

Now, she is thinking about marrying the guy, but she considers this one big hurdle to jump over. She's questioning whether she should do what she wants to do or not do it because she feels it would make her children not so happy.

On the bright side, her children didn't like dad's new girlfriend either. However, she said the children's attitudes don't seem to be bothering her as much.

How do you deal when your children do not like your significant other? Is there a future in such a relationship? Have you ever been in such a situation and found a way for it to work with all parties involved?

Age and money

My boyfriend made an interesting observation the other day, and I'd like to see if you agree with him.

Basically, he said that a relationship in which there is a significant age difference can only work out if one of the people in the couple is rich (or has significantly more money than the other person). Usually the older person is the rich person. The most obvious example is the older man and the stereotypical gold digger.

If BF's hypothesis is true, the reasons for such relationships could be based on some pretty shallow facts. That is, a young person would not date a considerably older person unless there was something in it for them, like money. Or perhaps the relationship is more likely to last because the less wealthy person likes being showered with gifts or money.

Think about relationships that you know. Are there any significant age differences or income differences? What do you think about this hypothesis?

How far is too far to go to get to know someone?

Ok, so we've done being married over a distance and being in a long-distance serious relationship.

But sometimes, when you just meet someone, you learn that they don't live just up the road. They could live in another city, county or possibly even another state.

That could make getting to know each other a lot more difficult. Instead of meeting up on a regular basis, you may have to opt for daily phone calls and e-mails. Or, depending on the distance, you could attempt to make that trek on a regular basis but it would lead to you paying exorbitant funding on gas and spending a lot of time on the road. And the funny thing is that you're not in a relationship. You are just trying to determine if it's worth establishing a relationship.

Nevertheless, I've seen various outcomes from situations such as these. Some people use these tactics and it works out for them, even eventually leading to marriage. Others got tired from dealing with the distance early on and cut their losses. A lot of the people I know who made it work at least stayed in the same state.

Do you think there is a maximum distance one should travel when just trying to get to know a person? Have you ever tried getting to know someone who lived elsewhere? How did it work out for you?

Keys to a successful marriage

The Telegraph's Sunday Leisure section featured a story about what research tells us about marriage. In short, the story examined what makes marriages successful and what makes them fail, based on statistics.

I found the results interesting, and thought I'd share them.

• Take life's big steps in mindful order. Research has shown that odds of a marriage staying together improve "when you graduate from college first; then marry, then have children."

This makes sense to me. Get your life together, enjoy the time you have with a significant other and then try to raise new little people. By the time you get to the kids part, you should already have the support (financially, emotionally, physically, mentally) you need from your spouse.

• Be wary of casual cohabitation. Some researchers say that there is "a tendency for cohabitating couples who otherwise wouldn't marry to slide into marriages of convenience that later hit the rocks."

I can see this happening. I have a friend who has lived with her boyfriend for about five years, and in the past she has said that the relationship was one of convenience. However, I think if you make a conscience decision to not let this happen, it would be OK.

• Find a supportive workplace. Since work-day emotions can spill over at home, "it makes sense to avoid workplaces where the deck is stacked against you."

Hmmm. Wouldn't it also be possible that you can find relief with your spouse when you try to escape your work? I think this one could go either way.

• Act quickly when troubles arise. Women who work outside the home are more likely to think it's a viable option to leave. However, dual-income households tend to share chores more evenly and make happier marriages. "Whatever the case, if your marriage starts to slide, act right away to change damaging behavior or take counseling or a marriage education program."

I'd rather have my own income than be financially dependent on my husband, but does that make me more likely to leave in general or just more likely to leave a bad situation? And if it's leaving a bad situation, is that really so bad? In any case, I definitely agree to work out troubles first before throwing a marriage away.

What do you think of these supposed keys to a successful marriage? Would you/do you make decisions based on research and statistics, or are you more likely to throw caution to the wind? What do you think are the building blocks of a successful marriage?